Intentional - "ish" (It may be messy, but it's mine)

Greetings Lovelies! Let’s talk about intention. Not like the vision-board kind, or “I drink hibiscus tea and my chakras align themselves” kind of intention. No no. I’m talking about raw, slightly off-centre, “what in the heck am I doing” “clueless as I am, something about this feels right” kind… Intention that sneaks up on you when you’re cooking in the kitchen, stirring a pot of something while the dog stares at you like you owe him rent, haha! and fleeting, right there in that moment... you feel it... and then it is gone.

I don’t always get it right. In fact, truth be told… I reckon that if I were a fly on the wall in my own life, I’d probably throw up those six little legs and say, “this chick has no idea what she is doing with her life” And I’d be absolutely correct. Because most times, I don’t!

But I guess, that is often how it operates. It does not arrive on your front doorstep by courier, wrapped in a big box with clear and concise instructions and step by step guides inside the box… nooooo, it generally just shows up disguised as a mess!!! A complete, beautiful, “What the hell am I doing” mess!!

There are days when I genuinely feel like I’m losing my marbles. Being an overthinker in this day and age? Yoh. Not for the faint-hearted I tell ya, lol! It’s like living with twenty versions of yourself, all debating over the same decision at the same time, and none of them offering ANY actual solutions. It’s exhausting to say the least! But oddly, it’s also kind of comforting… because somewhere in that chaos, there’s still intention. There’s still movement. There’s still that little internal voice that says, “Keep going.”

Time (and life) has taught me that intention isn’t about perfection. It’s about energy… not the butt kick you get from your morning coffee or the “elusive” (i question this) boost we get from those vitamins we all forget to take most days of the week (don’t lie! haha!)... which reminds me… (I de-rail) It’s deeper. It is the “current” underneath everything that is “our lives”. It’s the reason we wake up and try again. Even on the days when everything feels a bit sideways or even bottoms up.

Intention does not always look like “visible” action. Sometimes it’s in the pause. The choosing to breathe. The choosing not to spiral (even though it’s tempting). The choosing to make tea instead of sending that text. Or to cry for ten minutes and then carry on anyway.

Intention is sitting in your own storm and saying, “I might not know where this is going, but I’m here. I’m showing up. With a heart full of hope.” - which I am, and I do! Consistently.

Sometimes intention is messy. Sometimes it’s irrational. Sometimes it feels like you’re being dragged by the ankles through a garden of thorns while life screams, “Trust the process!” from a safe distance - because it knows damn well that you have been trying to do that pretty much from inception and often times, it feels like there is just way too much trusting and not enough validation for why we do, lol. But every now and then, when the dust settles and you look back, you realise… hey. I meant that. Maybe not perfectly. But it was real. It was honest… and It mattered.

I think the biggest lie we’ve ever been sold is that we need to have it all figured out before we even start. The way I look at it is… the figuring out is actually the starting point! What if the only thing we ever really need to do is listen in, lean in, and just… keep showing up - for ourselves, no matter what we tell ourselves in all our moments of “intention”... even when you are half-dressed, unsure, and midway to a breakdown. Even then.

Because the heart knows. And when you let intention come from that place inside you… instead of the frantic, over-analytical, social-media-drenched madness that surrounds us – that is normally when you will begin to see the wood for the trees… or at least that is my take on it anyway.
Let it be messy. Let it be real. Either way, it is all yours and you own it.