Fuel and Form.

There is a line from Harvey Specter in the series “Suits” that has always stuck with me: “When you are backed against the wall, break the goddamn thing down.”

Now, I’ll admit, at sixteen, I wasn’t exactly living by that mantra. In fact, I was being shoved into the back of a police van, wondering how the hell my life had escalated to that point.

Accused of dealing heroin (which I wasn’t, let’s just get that straight), I ended up paying for someone else’s escape. Literally. The “Acquaintance” which I only knew in passing, had accompanied me on a train ride home from college and vanished the second the cops appeared, while I, oblivious and still in mid conversation… stood there like a clueless statue.

What they did find on me though was weed and a knife that apparently had a blade longer than what the law considered “acceptable cutlery.” So, off I went. Court corridors, my dad’s face (I can still feel the weight of that look), and six months of juvenile correctional service. Not exactly the résumé-builder one dreams of at sixteen… or any other age for that matter.

If you were waiting for me to say that was my big wake-up call... nope. I still managed to trip over my own shoelaces more than a few times in the years which followed. But, this part is important… something did shift in me. Out went the stacks of fictional books, in came motivational reads and real life stories. On the train to college, I devoured them like they were air. Day in, day out. That became my new high: consuming words that lit fires instead of put them out.

I may have hung up my formal corporate stilettos some years ago, but not before putting in over twenty years in that arena as a business owner. It was a long and incredible chapter. I learnt resilience, learnt how to push through pressure, and discovered that entrepreneurship isn’t something you do for a season, it is stitched into who you are. These days my time looks a little different, baking bread, growing food, creating art and writing rubbish like this, lol… but that same spark runs underneath it all. Once you’ve lived with that fire in your veins, you carry it into whatever you create, no matter how different it may look on the outside.

I still find myself drawn to people and content that pack that kind of “passion” punch. Direct, no-nonsense types who don’t sugar coat anything. They are the people who will happily kick you off the couch if you’re wasting your own potential. Their energy is contagious. Reading their words or listening to them speak is like a caffeine shot.

My kind of people. Always have been, always will be. The ones who rock the boat. Who don’t just nod politely and agree with mediocrity. Who ask, “Why not?” instead of “What if?” Being around them is like standing next to a fire… you don’t just feel the heat, you carry it with you.

I often think back to the saying, birds of a feather… or even that sneaky truth, your mind will believe anything you tell it often enough. What you feed your mind and who you let into your orbit… those choices matter more than we give credit for. If you’re constantly surrounded by doom, gloom, and people who think “dreams” are best left for bedtime, well, don’t be shocked if your life starts tasting a bit like undercooked porridge. And if that recipe isn’t working… adjust it! I like to think of life like a potjie: what you chuck in matters, and a good mix makes all the difference. (Yes, only a true foodie would drag motivational metaphors into the kitchen. Guilty as charged.)

I have always been driven by what fuels my mind. I may not have gotten it right the first, or even the fifth… but every time I got it wrong, it was perspective that smacked me back into place. Brutal lessons? Absolutely. Worth it? Every single one. Because perspective, as uncomfortable as it is, teaches you what comfort never could.

As life moves on, the stage changes, but the lessons, the perspective, and the fire… all travel with you. Every version of me has been shaped by the people I allowed close, the words I consumed, and the energy I chose to absorb. That is the essence and foundation of what carried me through the rough patches and fueled me in the good ones.

Life isn’t about waiting for the “right time” or the “perfect path.” It is about choosing, over and over again, what you feed your mind, who you let into your orbit and how you choose to respond to both. When you fill that space with passion, courage and possibility, it doesn’t matter if you’re in heels, takkies or barefoot in the soil, you will always find yourself moving forward, breaking down the walls that once stood in your way.

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