"All the Feral Fawns" and I...
Isnt it just totally weird and wonderful how a complete stranger from the other end of the world can resonate with you on so many levels. I am not generally one to watch a lot of television - it has always been something I sort of had on in the background to “keep me company” so to speak… but over the past couple of months I have turned to YouTube vloggers to try and tune into their lives and tune out of mine.
In the mix of gardeners, chefs, homesteaders and DIY’ers… I stumbled upon a vlog called “All the Feral Fawns” and I am not going to lie… I know Anna may be half my age (or close anyway)... but I have been completely binging on this young womans vlog… and the reasons are many! She recently went through a breakup which has clearly left her feeling a little derailed and “in limbo” and considering where I currently sit, I have found her general “out loud” thought processing has really helped me to deal with my own situation… but it is so much more than that… she is just raw, real, authentic and completely true to herself in every way and I have just fallen in love with her peaceful and positive approach to life - despite the challenges which confront her.
Watching her vlog (on repeat, not gonna lie) - even if it is just in the background, has really really helped me to silence my own often neurotic mind and heart. There is so much about her spirit and soul which I identify with.
I do not know if this will ever reach her, but I am going to write it anyway… because as someone who has written a lot [about emotional trauma and triumph over the years… I know how much it can mean to the person who does the “sharing” when a recipient voices the positive impact it has had on them.
Hi Anna,
It has been a pleasure to “meet” you. As I sit here and write this - I have your blog from approx. 1 hour ago on the 8th April 2025 playing in the background. You have just bought your new Ford truck and I have to say… I wholeheartedly APPROVE!!!! It is VERY SEXY and I would totally get myself one!
I, am Jayne - or Jaynie as many call me. I am a 44 (45 in June) South African woman and mom. So yes, a fair amount older than you - but not short of youth in spirit. I recently asked my partner of thirteen years to leave. Not because I don’t love him, but because the dynamic of our relationship had changed and deteriorated so much and I was so incredibly unhappy for so, so long. I tried and tried and tried to communicate this with him, but it always seemed to fall on deaf ears and he always tried to make the problem go away with materialistic showers of affection. None of which ever reached my heart, because I think much like you… I am a simple soul that runs rather deep. What I wanted from him, it would appear - he not only not interested in giving… but also simply didn’t know how.
Your vlog came up in a random play of vlogs and after catching your shenanigans on and off between gardening, making sourdough and working in front of my laptop - I went and hit that subscribe button. This was a few days ago and I have since binged on most of your episodes several times… each, lol.
Yes, I am a mom - but to a teen, so I mostly find myself alone… and alone, has been a very overwhelming place to be lately. Having shared my time and space with the same person for the last thirteen years and to suddenly have them not only gone… but I appear to have been completely ghosted… despite my making it really clear that I genuinely wanted the “break” of time to be something positive for the both of us. A reset of sorts. So, much like you I have been left feeling completely bewildered… like the last decade plus was all a lie? It is a crazy level of emotional rollercoaster and I have been doing my best to navigate my way through it… one baby step at a time. Why am I telling you this?
Because your fluff free authenticity and complete transparency has really helped me to just “be” and “do” rather than to sit and overthink literally everything until I dismantle myself to a point of detriment.
I find watching your vlogs calming, reassuring and inspiring. You don’t try to deny your emotions… you just allow yourself to go through them, which I have always believed is precisely the way things should be… sometimes that can be harder in practice and you remind me that I can in fact get through this, regardless of how much it may hurt. I do know I can do it - I have been here before. My husband of 8 years walked out on myself and our two month old son. He is 15 now (as I mentioned) so yes… I made it through that I know I can make it through anything… but I find your gentle nature and softly inspiring and authentic approach to your every day a very positive nudge in the right direction… especially in the moments when my inner talk is getting the better of me… so I just wanted to thank you for that.
You strike me as a very special soul. I look at your spirited approach to simplicity and it inspires me. It is truly beautiful to see someone getting so much happiness out of such simple things. I wish more of the people in the world were like this.
❤❤❤
Until next time...
Much Love from Country Bumpkinland, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea
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nice
Thanks :)
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Many thanks for the curation xxx
That's a super nice compliment for ANNA. I don't watch videos myself, but she seems to do it very well. She has influenced you.
I wish you the strength to adopt her lightness. Anything else would be a waste of your life time ;-))
Thank you sweetheart. I too, (even with hers) will actually "sit down" and watch... they are just on - as I go about my day... like now, I have Jamie Oliver on haha! Subconsciously picking up cooking tips, lol.
That's a truly beautiful tribute to someone who authentically touched your life... there's something beautifully reciprocal about the idea that maybe she'll find what you wrote and you will have authentically touched her life.
One of the ways this world of ours can become a better place for all of us is by not allowing those moments and people who truly touch us pass by unlauded and without thanks.
Thank you for being the beautiful you that you are!
So true @denmarkguy! That was precisely what I was thinking! I emailed it to her. Whether or not she ever sees it, I suppose I won't know, but if she does, then I hope it beings a smile to her face. She does not profess to be perfect in any way, she is just very real and she has found quite a courageous way of "processing" the things which life throws at her. Bolder than me for sure... I don't think I would have the confidence to document my life on camera the way she does hers... and she, unlike a lot of other vloggers... does it all on her own - which I also think is very admirable.
Much love to you - ALWAYS! Your kindness always touches me. Thank you!
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Thank you!!!