Traveling at the Edge of Depression

We hear the term "depression" quite often, in our modern stressed-out world. Even people who know little about it throw the term around like confetti at a wedding, often perceiving themselves to be armchair experts.

In one of my favorite movies — a 2003 indie production called Off The Map — there is one particular scene that has always resonated deeply with me.

Charley (one of the primary protagonists who's deep in the throes of a debilitating depressive episode) is sitting on the steps outside the house in the middle of the night, talking to visitor William.

"Have you ever been depressed?" Charley asks.

"I've never NOT been depressed," William replies.

"Never NOT been depressed?"

"Never not."

"You've always been depressed?"

"Yes, sir."

"This is the first time for me. I don't know how you stand it."

"Well, I guess I'm used to it."

I have referred back to that bit of dialogue — or something very much like it — since about age 13-14 (long before the film), which was really the first time I cognitively wrapped my head around the fact that the world is — to a large degree — a very brutal and unfair place, filled with an enormous amount of suffering, injustice and unhappiness.

The thing about "depression" is that it is pretty much meaningless until you wrap some context around it.

John is depressed because his dog died.

Susan is depressed following her divorce.

Eric is depressed because he has an imbalance of body chemistry."

In most cases, these are transient situations that can be successfully addressed with therapy, pharmaceuticals, or both. Most therapists — even good ones — have a really good understanding of depression at those levels, and can do a world of good in helping people through their tough patches.

The lesser known form of depression, which is rarely talked about (likely because therapists and mental health professionals don't like talking about things for which there is no "fix"), is what we might call existential depression.

In the German language, perhaps the term "Weltschmerz" (loosely translates as "the pain of the world") comes as close as anything to summarizing what lies behind existential depression. We don't really have an equivalent word in English.

You end up with it when you do not belong to the fortunate group who can act on the advice "Just recognize that it's beyond your control and move on!"

While I can recognize that these things are largely beyond my control, "moving on" is difficult because the evidence gets thrust in our faces 24/7/365 by the gloomsayers and talking heads in the media who profit from luring people into clicking on the most tragic headlines they can dream up.

That, in itself, is depressing in the sense that we have been conditioned to respond to tragedy rather than to joy and celebration.

Small wonder that I end up wasting as much of my day as I do by watching kittens playing on YouTube...

Traveling at the "edge" of depression is a constant challenge that revolves around finding ways to be in the world without being of a world that causes the endless pain and suffering... and being hypervigilant and aware of the "triggers" that can cause you to become derailed from a more positive purpose. Like the William character in the film, I am used to it, and I navigate life as best I can.

Small wonder that I have often ideated on the idea of moving to a remote island in a desolate place where the only thing "to do" is monitoring a meteorological station or keeping a lighthouse running.

On the other hand, how would that serve the greater good... if at all?

Which leaves the option of living as somewhat of a hermit and writing commentaries on the things that strike me as patently wrong and should — at the very least — be pointed out... rather than unceremoniously swept under the rug.

Before this screed becomes excessively long, I shall bring this to a close with a favorite quote by spiritual teacher and writer Jiddu Krishamurti:

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

Some of us spend a lifetime trying our best to not be sucked into that society...

Thanks for stopping by, and enjoy the remainder of your weekend!

How about YOU? Do you ever struggle to keep the pain of the greater world from "raining" on your life? Are you familiar with the kind of depression that's not "clinical?" Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

(All text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is ORIGINAL CONTENT, created expressly for this platform — Not posted elsewhere!)

Created at 2025.07.19 19:49 PDT
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