New school versus old school parenting.

The phrase "spare the rod and spoil the child" echoed through many childhoods like a law. Back then, a look from your mother was a full paragraph of warning. A raised brow? That was the final notice. Parents from the old school didn’t explain; they enforced. Discipline was firm, sometimes harsh. But it was rooted in a kind of love that believed correction was the foundation of strong character.

Fast forward to now, the era of gentle parenting, time-ins, and emotional check-ins. Many modern parents approach discipline as a form of negotiation. Children are given more room to express themselves, ask questions, and even push back. In this world, the old ways are often labelled toxic, and any form of corporal discipline is heavily criticised.

So, where do we draw the line?

Were old school parents too strict? Maybe. But they were present. They raised children with limited resources, no parenting books, and still somehow held their homes together. Yet, many of us who grew up under that structure still carry silent trauma. Some of us flinch at certain tones. Some of us mistook fear for respect. Some of us grew up thinking affection had to be earned, not freely given.

And now, here we are, trying to parent a generation with more exposure, more access, more sensitivity... and far less patience.

Today's parents are busy. Distracted. Always working, always rushing. We hand kids screens to babysit them, then wonder why they can’t sit still or self-soothe. We say we’re too tired to talk, then hope schools and Sunday classes will instil values we don’t model. We want emotionally intelligent children, but aren’t emotionally available ourselves.

Old school wasn’t perfect.
The new school isn’t either.

But here’s what matters: intentional parenting.

Raising children with awareness. With presence. With discipline rooted in love, not fear. With correction that builds, not breaks. With space for questions, but also boundaries. With tradition, but also growth.

I was raised in a blend of both worlds. Yes, I was disciplined. Yes, there were rules. But I also knew I was loved. Still, there are things I’d do differently. Not because my parents failed, but because I now understand better.

Parenting isn’t about choosing sides.
It’s about showing up, learning, unlearning, and choosing your child over your pride.

So no, we don’t need to go back.
And no, we don’t need to cancel everything old.

My parent and i, 10 years ago

We need to build forward on purpose. The goal isn’t perfection, it's presence, it's intention, it’s love that corrects without crushing, that leads without lording, that listens, even when it must still say "no."

That’s the parenting that raises whole children and healed adults.

I will like to invite @mophebe , @charis20 and @patience90 to join this contest.