The Silence of emotion

I hope everyone is fine, I am also fine Alhamdulillah, we humans have many feelings and emotions: love, pride, anger, stubbornness, wants, and many emotions working in us. Many people can express themselves, while others are unable to. I am a Bengali girl, and our forefathers and grandmothers have some customs and rules that my family still follows a lot, although in today's era no one observes so many traditions, but there are some families who observe these things.

pexel

After my marriage, the family of my father-in-law's house is also somewhat like this: I got married in a very big family, there are many relatives here, and everyone lives very close. I can't do anything here. I couldn't finish my studies; my wife doesn't need to study more; but all my sisters have graduated; only I am an undergraduate. After coming to my father-in-law's house, I tried to do everything according to their wishes, trying to make them happy, my own happiness, and self-respect. I left everything and only thought about them, and my husband never supported or encouraged me in any matter; he always wanted me to keep his parents happy without taking on all the responsibilities of his family. But in the midst of all this, I have lost my sense of self. No one ever asked for my wishes, hopes, aspirations, or happiness, and I could never say them openly. I always tried to find the reason for my happiness in their happiness.

pexel

I was also married at a very young age, so I didn't understand many things. I always tried to make myself like them. My silence, my passion, and my sacrifice were never visible to them. Seeing that I didn't say anything, they thought that I didn't feel anything, I didn't suffer, and I didn't have likes or dislikes, but no one could understand the many things that were hidden in my silence. I started to give more priority to my liking. Being good, I could not finish my studies, so I started to build myself differently.
As much as I have spent time in my life, I realized that in this life no one does anything from the heart to make someone happy, so we have to take out our own happiness and keep ourselves good.