How to regain control of your life?
Many people seeking therapy feel like they are "objects." This means something is happening to them, but they do not choose or control their lives. They tend to go along with what others expect, need, or demand.
This feeling appears in many parts of life:
A person might stay in a relationship where they are unhappy or talk to people they dislike.
Someone might live with a partner who hurts them physically or emotionally but feels powerless to change it.
A person could stay in a job they dislike or that pays little because they believe they cannot find something better.
Many follow societal expectations instead of their own wishes. They marry because "it’s time," or have children because "it’s necessary."
People often rely on what others say success, beauty, or happiness should be, without understanding their own needs and standards.
So, how does this happen? Why do people become like objects?
Usually, it starts in childhood. If a child's feelings, needs, or emotions are ignored or suppressed, they may grow up seeing themselves as objects. If they are used for others’ purposes or told what to think and feel, they learn to ignore what they want.
A child's life depends heavily on their parents. If they lose their parents' love or presence, they may feel like they will die. They learn to please others, endure hardship, and adapt without understanding their rights or desires. Without realizing it, they carry these patterns into adult life.
As adults, they might pick partners who suppress them or accept bad conditions. They may find it hard to say "no" or stand up for themselves.
They also tend to see others as objects. They might manipulate or demand others to do what they want. They may use loved ones or treat them as mere objects because they don’t know how to build real relationships.
Therapy helps a person see that they are a subject, not an object. It is a process of coming back to yourself. This involves some steps:
Becoming aware of your feelings, desires, and needs. Ask yourself: What do I like? What do I want? How do I feel right now?
Building self-confidence. Trust your feelings and needs. Understand that you know what is best for you. Let go of constantly focusing on others’ opinions and expectations.
Allowing yourself to feel anger. Notice when your boundaries are crossed and express your anger. This helps you separate from parents or others who control you.
Cutting ties with harmful relationships. Learn to say "no" to people or situations that hurt you. Focus on building healthier relationships.
This journey can be hard, but it is worth it. It gives you control over your life. Once you see yourself as a person, you stop waiting for others to make you happy. You choose your own path and start living your life for yourself.