Turning Requests to Opportunity: The Fine Art of Asking

Some months back, I attended a seminar, and in the course of it, the lead facilitator asked everyone to turn to their side and ask their neighbour for just one thing, - it could be an assistance, a favour, a question, a direction, anything at all. Amazingly, a lot of people got some mind-blowing favours. In fact, one of the attendees even got a new laptop. This was when I understood the power of asking. Your individual input and capacity may not be able to see you through, all you need to do is to ask. Remember, there is no shame in Asking if you ask for the right and genuine reason.

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When I was doing my internship programme some years back, there was this particular task that I was required to do. I had tried a couple of times and had put in efforts in order to get it done, but it did not seem to get closer to being done. After about 3 days of trying in futility, I remembered that one of my colleagues who came in before me had done similar task before and he now has experience in it. I went straight to his department and asked to be shown how to get it done. Adorably, in less than 20 mins, he explained everything to me and I got to work. What I could not achieve in 3 days, I was able to achieve in less than 3 hours. If I had not asked, I would have continued to waste my time and may even end up getting queried for it. This explains the power of asking.

The truth is that your individual ability is limited because you are not omnipotent. But as advantageous as asking is, a lot of people hesitate to do it, maybe because of fear of rejection, fear of being told no, assumption of absolute independence, or maybe they feel they are not worthy to ask. From my experiences, I can confidently say that asking may look simple but it can open doors of opportunities, bring unimaginable favour, and even position one for growth and development. However, it is worthy to note that how you ask, what you ask, when you ask, and your general attitude when asking could make a big difference and may determine if your request will be honoured or not.

It is worthy to note that, in order to get what you desire, then you have to learn how to ask. This is not just about asking for material things, it can be asking for direction, for assistance, seeking for promotion in your work place, or even requesting for an idea. What is important is that you ask genuinely and for a very good reason. You would not know the blessedness of asking until you have asked. On the other hand, you will not know what you have been missing by not asking until you have learnt to ask. However, in order for your asking to be effective and not a mere waste of time, there are things that you need to observe and do.

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Firstly, you need to use a polite tone, even though you are to maintain your confidence. You have to understand that the person does not owe you and that you are simply asking for a favour, so be polite about it, and do not do it like it is your right. When you are respectful, you have already won the heart of the person that you are asking from. In addition to being respectful, you also need to be appreciative of whatever you are offered even if you feel it is not up to par. The appreciation can actually open more doors for you. You also have to create the impression that you are actually a good person, so that it will increase your likelihood of receiving a favourable answer. People normally like helping people who they perceive as good.

Another point is that you should be able to provide value with your asking. Ask because you want to take responsibility or provide value, not because you want to become inactive. For example; if you are asking for someone to teach you how to fish, it will increase your likelihood of being helped, then asking for fish, because they know that you want to provide value. In addition, you also need to explain how what you are asking for will also be beneficial to someone else, not just for a selfish desire. In all these, however, you also need to be prepared for any response. You may not always get a "yes," but it does not mean that life would not continue nor that you will not get a "yes" tomorrow.

Thanks for reading