SLC-S24/W5 - Thoughts and reflections.

May is a traditional Nigerian wife, who seemed contented with her life in the shadows and never chased fame. She married her husband at a young age, who later turned out to be one of Nigerians biggest actor and were both blessed with four kids. May edochie is one lady that people will describe as a “quiet pillar behind her successful husband” because she supported her husband, emotionally, spiritually and perhaps financially during his early days but sadly, this support was overlooked.

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She’d know idea she would one day receive the shock of her life on the internet, when her husband went a secretly married his fellow actress and to make matters worse, the actress was also expecting a child for him. It was disrespectful and humiliating.

But what broke many hearts was not just the betrayal, but the strength May showed through it all. Even when they tragically lost their son during the peak of divorce saga, she never came on social media like other celebrities wives we know to rant or rain insults on her husband and his new wife. All she wanted was just a divorce but he refused. He kept insisting that he loves her and that she still remains his no.1 woman in the house. But that was exactly the problem. She didn’t want to be numbered. If she’s not having her husband to herself and her kids alone, the home wrecker can take you.

Nigerians, especially the ladies, were so emotional about this issue that It attracted a lot of love that a fan base was formed called “may nation”. She became a celebrity over night. She was featured in movies and had lots of endorsements. Like Amanda, she stopped living to please someone who clearly didn't value her loyalty. Her identity as a woman, a mother, and a role model rose from the ashes of heartbreak and as for her husband and his new wife, they became the most hated celebrities, endorsement deals with them was cancelled and they had to turn to skit maker.

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I don’t think giving everything to someone you love is a mistake especially if the other party reciprocates that love. In the case of may Edochie, let’s assume, the love was reciprocated in the early days of the marriage and the family was living peacefully until riches and fame disrupted their happiness. Her husband became selfish while may still gave all her love until the news broke out on the internet. And as humans, no matter how much we love our spouse, there is a limit we can take until we say no more..

A relationship is a partnership, not a sacrifice ritual. When love is mutual, giving your all strengthens the bond between the two people but when the love is coming from only one person, it becomes a slow erosion of your self-worth.

Yes it does. Giving all your heart to someone you love makes you vulnerable and if it happens that the person doesn’t love you in return, that’s going to be the worse mistake of your life because the person will take advantage of you everyday. We’ve a similar situation of a gospel singer who did everything for her husband because she loved him but died in the process because her husband have been beating her up every day but refused to speak up and won’t divorce her husband because Christians frowns her divorce. It was even his kids that testified against him and he was sentenced to death some months ago.

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In May Edochie case, even though she wasn’t abused physically , he still betrayed her love by bringing in a second wife. A lot of people that fits into her husband’s shoe, use love as a license to hurt the very person who holds them up. When they know you’ll always forgive and stay, they begin to test your limits. The more you keep forgiving toxic behavior, it becomes a punishment. So, is best you leave such marriage while you are alive or end up dead like the celebrity gospel singer.

The May Edochie saga reminds us that if you find yourself in relationship that drains you emotionally and physically or the person you give all your love to doesn’t value you, just take a walk peacefully. That’s the first step of remembering your worth. May Edochie was never dramatic, in fact, people love her the more for choosing self respect over shame, silence over scandal and even when she lost her kid during the messy marriage, she chose healing over revenge. That’s the best way to handle things and allow the universe fight for you.

I am inviting @ngoenyi, @bossj23 and @sualeha