SLC-S24/W3 - Powerful Debate | Love & Arguments

There was this amazing couple, Alex and Jamie, who from the moment they met, was like a movie. They were always seen together, laughing, sharing secrets, and just completely in sync, even doing everything together, from watching sunsets to planning wild adventures, the kind of love everyone dreams about, the kind that made us believe in fairytales and happy ever after.

Well, they built a life together, a cozy little world filled with jokes, shared dreams, and a deep unwavering bond as they were more like each other's best friends, confidants, and biggest supporters. They navigated life's ups and downs as a team, always there to pick each other up when things got tough, a shining example of what true love could be.

But, as time went on, little by little cracks started to appear in this their perfect world, with the first signs always being the small disagreement, this time it was over who does the dishes, a misunderstanding about a weekend plan. Suddenly, these little things grew into bigger arguments and they were bickering over finances, different opinions on their future, and the way they spent their time. The laughter everyone has come to know faded, replaced by tense silences and unspoken resentments. Well, the fairytale was starting to feel more like a K-drama.

They tried to fix things, of course, if not what would lead to the arguments? So they talked (or at least, they tried to), but their words seemed to twist into weapons as everyone would only get defensive, point fingers, and bring up past hurts. Little did they know that the love that once bound them together felt strained, stretched thin by the weight of their disagreements. And just like that, their love which was a beautiful painting had been ripped, the vibrant colors fading with each passing argument. Now, they are left wondering if they could ever find their way back to the love they once shared.

The thing is, just as we all have our own way of seeing the world, our own thoughts, feelings, and experiences that shape how we understand things, misunderstanding is bound to happen at some point, be it siblings, friendship, or even couples. Mind you, it is even trickier with couples as it involves two people from different backgrounds, living together with all their differences, trying to build a life together. Hence, misunderstandings are bound to happen because we can't always know what the other person is thinking or feeling.

Therefore, I see misunderstandings in any relationship as a natural part of being human, especially when we are close to someone. However it's how we deal with them that really matters, and here is what I think of the topic at hand as I attended to the questions raised.

Reveal the simple thinking of your mind and show us that in any quarrel or problem that arises between a couple, the first thing that men do is always admit their mistakes and apologize to their wives in order to keep their relationship intact. Is this right or should the one who is at greater fault in the quarrel first admit his mistakes and apologize to his partner and try to fix the relationship?

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I see marriage as a team sport where both the husband and wife are on the same team. Now, like I earlier stated, in a gathering or group of people (i.e., team), things can go wrong as we can sometimes misunderstand each other, get our feelings hurt, or just plain mess up.

image source; Pexels

Just like we blame each other as a team, when this happens in a marriage, it is also very easy to get stuck in a blame game. We can get caught up with the "He should apologize first" or "No, she's the one who messed up". However, that is not the best way to fix things.

Instead, for me, it will be way better if both of them are willing to say sorry. It doesn't matter who was "more wrong", but the important thing being that someone admits with maybe a simple "okay, I messed up. I'm sorry". But then, this doesn't mean the person is admitting to being the worst person ever, but rather just a means to saying, "I see that what I did hurt you, and I regret it."

This for me is important because saying sorry opens the door to fixing things and it is way better than pointing fingers. It also tells the other partner, "I care about you and our relationship more than being right", and when one person says sorry, it often makes it easier for the other person to say it too.

So coming back to the question asked, should the husband always be the first? No. Should the wife always be the first? Still No. The best approach is for both people to be ready to admit their mistakes and say sorry when they mess up, because in the long run, it is about taking responsibility, showing love, and working together to make things better.

Where many people think that in a fight, the husband should be the first to say sorry and their wives should be the first to resolve the conflict and mend the relationship. Do you agree with this view or do you think it is different in your case? Express your own feelings.

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I don't think it is a good idea to have these fixed roles, because it is like saying, "Men do this, and women do that" in a relationship, which is not fair.

image source; Pexels

In my opinion, the person who messed up should acknowledge their mistake and be the one to say sorry. It doesn't matter if it is the husband or the wife, what matters is that they person should take responsibility for their actions, and apologizing shows that you indeed care about the other person and the relationship.

And who should mend things? Well, marriage being a team, I think both husband and wife should. It is a team of two, so fixing the problem needs the two people involved, where both need to talk, listen, and work together, as it is not just one person's job.

So, do I agree with the popular idea that the husband should always apologize first? No I don't. I think it should be whoever understands they made a mistake, and both of them should work together to fix things.

However, in this case, would it be wise for both the husband and wife to admit their mistakes and apologize to each other in order to preserve their relationship, or would it be wiser to continue to maintain their egos and continue to cause unrest in the family day after day? Which do you think is right?

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Well, holding onto our ego and fighting all the time is a recipe for disaster, just like pouring gasoline on a fire, it only makes things worse, therefore it is not good for anyone.

whereas, in a situation where both people admit their mistakes and apologize, it is like putting out the fire, as it calms things down and shows that both parties care about each other and want to fix the problem. It's a sign of respect and love.

So, if you are asking which is better? I believe admitting our mistakes and apologizing is better and it is the only way to build a strong, happy relationship. Holding onto our egos and fighting all the time just hurts everyone involved.

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I want to take this opportunity to invite @triple-e, @ninapenda and @bossj23.

Thank You for your Time

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NOTE: Always have a smile on your face, as you are never fully dressed without one.