SLC-S24/W2-Powerful Debate | Love vs Compatibility
Hello beautiful ladies, trust we're all doing great? I'm here to participate in the powerful debate brought to us by out amiable moderators and I want to say "THANK YOU" to all the team for pulling up this amazing contest. Let's quickly go into the reason for this piece. This piece is based on a true life story.
I know of a young couple who shared everything in common and lived happily together, making some of the singles in the neighborhood pray for that kind of marriage and also tap from it's blessings. I personally, admired them too especially the way they carried themselves and cared for each other even in the midst of misunderstanding and I wondered what bond they shared that could make them look so perfect together and make marriage look easy. Few years later, though the bond was still strong and the acts remained the same, there was something missing which only those who were close to them could notice.
They were broken laughter, moments of silence and the tenderly affection they displayed towards each other on the inside vanished. But in all, they still held tight to each other, not wanting to let each other go. The cause of the emotional disturbance wasn't known as they never talked or spoke to anyone nor each other about it. And I thought so much that the marriage wouldn't last even till the next two years because the love they once had for each other wasn't there anymore. But then, as I type this, they're still together , why? Because of the understanding, togetherness, compactability and loyalty they share. Reality dawned on me and I realized that there's a time in marriage or relationship when it feels like the Love once shared is Fading, What will happen then? when the reason you loved your partner isn't there anymore? That's when compactability, understanding, togetherness and loyalty comes in and that term "perfect marriage or relationship" is a fallacy. There's no term like that as we are all flawed and it takes more than love to build any marriage.
Is love essential for keeping a relationship healthy or can loyalty and understanding hold a relationship for a lifetime?
Love alone cannot guarantee a healthy relationship, because loves fades. Yes, there's a time you'll look for the physical attributes that made you love your partner and you won't find it and with that's when understanding, loyalty togetherness, and compactability takes the lead. Using our society today as instance, look around your neighborhood, you'd sure find a sweet looking and most most loved couple who are now filing for divorce or had already divorced because they fell out of love and couldn't find anything to build on anymore so they had to let go because love alone isn't enough, understanding and loyalty can hold a relationship for a lifetime.
What are your thoughts about being seen as the perfect couple for outsiders but truly having no feeling for each other and having a huge emotional distance?
Projecting yourselves to the world as the most perfect couple while there's so much emotional distance between you and your partner is disastrous. It can endanger one's marriage or relationship and I'll put it that opening up to your partner is far better off than keeping mute and going with the flow. A problem shared is a problem solved, they're are partners who wouldn't blink at you talking or accepting gift items from other guys while some would let it slide and you should know where your partner falls, once any strange or cold attitude is displayed either in your marriage or relationship, it's in your place to ask and know what's wrong and look for ways to resolve it amicably instead of beefing each other, it will only cause emotional stress and soon, it might cost your marriage if the foundation isn't strong and based on love alone.
Is it wiser to hold on to peace or chase what sets the heart on fire?
Holding on to peace will only bring war and deceit at last, chasing what sets the heart on fire is and will forever be the best choice. At every point in time, don't ever sweep anything under the carpet, always open! Discuss things ours, talk about the good and most especially the bad, it helps. Your partner may offend you and may be ignorant of it, it's you who'd draw his or her attention to it and make it known that the act was pleasant or appealing to you. Here's a little story of what happened some months ago between my man and I, my long time friend invited me to an outing, an open one at that and I didn't inform my friend about it because i didn't know how to put it to him and since it was during school hours, we'd just sip drinks and gist and I'll go back without him finding out but guess what? My man literally found out and never said anything about it. I noticed some kind of strange behaviours, status and talks and I immediately decoded that something was off so I asked him and here's our conversation.
Me: Bae, are you angry with me?
Bae: About what exactly? I'm not angry with you and you know that.
Me: I know you're angry but you don't want to say it but I've noticed it through your WhatsApp status, talks and behaviours and I think it's because I went out with my friend and never told you about it, I'm sorry.
Bae: Intentionally doing something to upset me and coming back to apologize looks childish to me. If I am not what you want, go ahead and tell me instead of still looking outside and wasting my time.
Me: I never did it intentionally, I just didn't know how to tell you and didn't want to hurt your feelings, I'm sorry.
Bae: All I did was to love you and you paid me back with frolicking with men?
Me: I only went out with my friend oo and to an open place at that and here you are saying, I'm frolicking with me? I can feel your pains anyways.
Bae: It hurt me that I lived everyday taking you as my friend and everything and the only thing I get in return is frolicking with men.
Do you want to know what else hurts me?
Yes, I am hurt that even after I gave out everything I ever hold dear, you stabbed me and make me feel less of myself.
At this point, I didn't want anyone to tell me that I've messed before I could realize it myself. I had to immediately go on my knees and apologize, I apologized my eyes out and luckily I was forgiven.
Please and please, always chase what's sets your heart on fire so as to know how to make it right and always remember to lay low even in a heated conversation in other not to worsen the situation.
Thank you all for sticking through to this point, I know I've really made this piece very lengthy but that wasn't my intention. Please, all that's printed here might not be sensible so I appeal that you only pick out the ones that makes sense and apply it in your relationship or marriage, which ever case it may be. Thank you once again to all the team of moderators and to you my amazing readers, I'm grateful for this opportunity to share my two cent on this debate.
I'd like to invite my friends @bela90, @joychi102 and @jemilatbuhari to participate in this contest.
My X share
https://x.com/JoySunday275497/status/1918750454579687869?t=KKFJ3VeisbB95bK94dWXBQ&s=19
Totalmente de acuerdo contigo estimado amigo, el amor desvanece sino se riega, sino se alimenta y hace que por sí solo no pueda mantener una sana relación. Exitos en tu estupenda publicación, saludos.
Gracias por tus amables deseos y comentario, estoy agradecido.