Giving your all isn't necessarily a mistake in life. It's a lovely feeling when affection and love are reciprocated. However it is quite painful when it isn't. I'll use the example of my own family. Following the death of our mother our father had a dramatic transformation and remarried. Our mama's brothers were the only people who supported us during our sadness. Despite their lack of wealth they fully supported us. They treated us like their own children and accepted our older brother into Quaid-e-Azam University.

For us our uncles made many sacrifices. Despite their limited resources they made every effort to ensure we didn't feel alone. They gave us money time and affection. They even arranged for my brother to marry my close friend in the hopes that he would continue to be in touch with us. Since he was our sole hope and the one man in our family who could help us get back on our feet we constantly prayed for him to succeed.

However all changed when he was hired as a lecturer at a university. Once he was comfortable he broke off all contact with us. He hasn't made a single phone call or been to visit since 2013. We offered him our love our prayers and our dreams and it crushed our hearts. We felt as though all of the support and sacrifices had been in vain. Therefore it is only beneficial to give everything when the other person cherishes it. If not it causes severe discomfort that is difficult to get rid of.

Giving everything from the heart is not always a mistake in life provided that the other person values it. In our instance our father changed and got married again after our mother died. With the exception of our mother's brothers we had no support. Despite their lack of wealth they loved and cared for us unconditionally. My older brother was accepted to Quaid-e-Azam University and they even set up his marriage to my friend. They put our happiness ahead of their own demands and treated us like their own kids.

We always hoped for our brother's prosperity because we thought he would one day help us. However he left us entirely after landing a decent job as a lecturer. He has not phoned or visited us since 2013. We gave him all of our love and hopes thus it hurts a lot. Therefore it is true that giving everything is only lovely when the recipient returns the favor. If not the heart is left with disappointment and anguish that never goes away.

I believe that when we unconsciously give someone everything they frequently begin to take us for granted. They gradually stop caring about our feelings since they believe that we will always be there. They don't appreciate the love attention and support we continue to provide. We are ultimately the ones who suffer the most. Without feeling guilty those who don't appreciate the importance of relationships frequently take advantage of our generosity and goodwill.

While loving and supporting others is vital we also need to respect ourselves. It's okay to offer everything you have but only for the right people—those who are giving back and care. We feel empty if we contribute all the time but never get love or respect in return. Our emotions are important as well. We must learn to guard our hearts and set boundaries. In this manner we can continue to be kind while being resilient enough to prevent repeated harm.

Since some individuals take it for granted and stop caring about our sentiments I think it's not always right to give everything. They don't value us because they believe we will always be forgiving and helpful. This gives them permission to repeatedly harm us. It is good to show affection and care but only to those who return the favor. It causes agony if it is not returned. Therefore when we give too much without considering our own value individuals can take advantage of us.

In life we occasionally give someone our whole selves in the hopes that they would feel the same way. However not everyone appreciates our affection and assistance. The incorrect person takes it lightly and continues to harm us when we give them too much. We learn from this suffering that love should be reciprocal—not one person giving and the other taking. We must also learn to take care of ourselves. Demanding love and respect in return is not selfish. Giving is lovely but only when it is appreciated by the recipient. You are free to go if they don't. When we show our love to people who deserve it life becomes more tranquil. We should continue to be kind while simultaneously shielding our emotions from ongoing harm.

When he witnesses my brother's reckless or self-centered actions my grandfather always says the Pashto expression "Da wakht ba tyr shi kho da sawy zangon ba me her na shi " which implies that although the difficult moment will pass the hurt caused by someone's actions will never be forgotten. He says this because my brother stopped talking to us when he got a decent job. My grandfather is extremely hurt and serves as a reminder that while individuals may forget the passing of time they never forget the suffering they have caused.