SLC-S24/W5 - Thoughts and reflections

Hello everyone!

I choose the topic Should You Give Your All When the Other Person Isn’t Willing to Do Anything for You?

According to the requirement of the task I have crafted this story to participate in this challenge to answer the questions about the first task.

Life is the name of change. Sometimes in life different events happen which leaves a lasting impact on life. Similarly in my life there was a quiet time. I met someone who was broken. She was wounded by the life. She was betrayed by others and she was lost in her own mind. I wanted to be the healing of that person. I offered her my time, loyalty, my love and all of me. I stood like a lighthouse in the darkest storms. I guided her every time she needed any help in any respect.

Image by Anna Sulencka from Pixabay

I was thinking that I was doing a noble task. I believed meaning of love was sacrifice. I thought if I gave more love then ultimately it will inspire her and I will get love in return. But you will be surprised that with every year I wiped from her eyes I cried alone at night without any comfort to me. Each favour, each chance and silent forgiveness made me to disappear. My dreams were on a pause. My happiness and joy was also disappearing. My heart also flickered like a candle in the wind.

The most hurting thing for me was that she did not even notice. One day I looked into the mirror and to my surprise I did not recognize myself. At that time I realized that I had spent a long time as her strength. In this dilemma I forgot that I also deserved some too. I was not her partner but lifeline. But she did not ask who was saving me. Donon this situation I walked away. Not out of spite. But out of survival.

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Q1: Do you think giving everything is a mistake, or when it’s reciprocated, it’s nice to give everything? Justify your answer.

When we give everything to someone it is not a mistake if it is a mutual thing. When love is rooted in the respect, trust and reciprocity then it becomes one of the most beautiful human experiences. Giving everything in that context means building something together which leads to a connection that is safe, warm and empowering.

Image by Julia Haya Vigo from Pixabay

But on the other hand if we are the only one who are trying and giving everything slowly then it becomes an emotional bankruptcy. In this way we compromise our life by thinking that it is love but in reality it is just the survival mode in the form of devotion.

So I will say yes that giving your all is powerful but only when you are treated with the same care as you are offering.

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Q2: Do you think giving everything allows people to take advantage of hurting the other person’s feelings?

I will sadly say that it often happens in life. When someone realises that you will always forgive, you will stay forever, you will always bend yourself then the others stop giving value to us. In this situation you become a guarantee but not a gift. The others start seeing our kindness as the weakness. They think our patience as permission and silence as surrender.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

The more we provide love to others the less they feel the need to earn you love and at the end they stop giving anything at all. In this way our heart becomes tired and our spirite is vanished. Then the others start feeling and they wonder why we have changed.

The loss of giving too much to anyone who gives very little in return is that we lose the ability to recognise our own worth.

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Reflection

The story of Amanda is a reminder of a truth which is avoided by many that love should not cost you your identity. She entered her relationship with a lot of dreams. But she kept on forgiving and giving and it made her spark less visible and faded. She stayed in it for long time with the hope that her along love will be enough to change him. But when love is not nurtured from both the sides it becomes a burden.

Image by Victoria from Pixabay

The healing of Amanda did not begin when Andrew apologized to her. At that moment she realised that she mattered too. Her story does not only show heartbreak but it is about reclaiming self worth, dignity and joy.

In a relationship sacrifice is a natural thing but self sacrifice should never be a lifestyle. It is noble to love deeply but it is a good thing to recognize when your love turns into a loss.

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Phrase That Applies to This Topic

Here are the phrases which apply to this situation:

“Do not set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.”

Here is another phrase to define this topic:

“You deserve someone who fills your cup, not just someone who drinks from it.”

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I invite @bahrol, @f2i5 and @willeusz to join this contest.