SLC-S24/W3 - Powerful Debate | Love & Arguments
There is a quiet war that is played out behind the doors. It is played without violence or fury but it is played with the silence, pride and the two hearts wait for the other to surrender first. It is actually the war who will say sorry first in a marital relationship. And may be it is one of the most destructive battles which the couples face in their lives.
I will try to reflect my thoughts and views on this topic through an imaginative and hypothetical story. Here we go.
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
Anila and Rehan were once known as the perfect couple among their friends. They had a beautiful courtship of 5 years and then they pursue to their marriage. It was built on the dreams and shared laughter. Their love felt indestructible. But time, routine, and unspoken expectations slowly began to test the foundation of their bond.
Image by Alexa from Pixabay
It started with little things such as forgotten birthdays, tone of voice, and mismatched priorities between them. Misunderstandings crept in like silent thieves. Due to this the warm home grew cold with the unspoken anger. When arguments happened no one wanted to be the first to say sorry to other. Rehan would think that why should I always bow first just because I am the man? On the other hand, Anila would wonder that Why should I give in when I am not the one who started it first?
Image by Vytautas from PixabayDays would pass in silence. Nights would go by with backs turned to each other in bed. And every morning their hearts would drift a little further apart. It was not because they didn’t love each other, but because neither had the courage to admit their mistakes.
Why? Because ego had entered the room before love did.
Rehan believed he would lose his masculinity by saying sorry first. Anila thought she would be seen as weak for admitting fault. But what they both failed to see was this: saying sorry doesn’t make you smaller but it makes the relationship stronger.
In any healthy relationship the accountability should never be based on gender. It should be based on emotional maturity. The idea that a husband must say sorry first just because he is the man is as damaging as a wife refusing to admit her mistake to avoid “losing face.” These expectations create imbalance, resentment, and emotional exhaustion.
Image by Gerd Altmann from PixabayApology should be based on who understands the situation better, who values peace more, and who realizes the importance of connection over conflict. Sometimes the one who is not wrong still chooses to say sorry. They do it not because they are guilty but because they value the relationship more than their pride and ego.
If both partners live in their egos then the relationship slowly dies from within. But if even one of them can take the emotional step forward it breathes life back into the bond.
So, what is the right thing to do?
In my view whoever realizes their mistake or recognizes that healing is more important than ego should apologize first. Whether that is the husband or the wife does not matter. What matters is the strength to lower your pride and raise your relationship.
We often associate apology with the guilt but in truth the apology is rooted in love and empathy. It is actually the desire to fix what is broken. It takes more strength to say “I was wrong” than to keep silent and suffer.
Image by Moondance from PixabayLet us teach ourselves and our future generations that relationships are not the battles to win. They are the partnerships where love must speak louder than the ego and pride. Everyone should understand it that in a relationship the word “sorry” is a bridge not a weakness.
Final Thought:
"Marriage is not about who is right but it is about who chooses to make it right."
So in the end do not wait for your partner to say sorry. Be the one who values peace over ego. If you prefer peace over ego then you will win something far greater than the argument. You will win the heart.
I would like to invite @chant, @suboohi and @sergeyk to join this contest and show up with their own debate about love and arguments.
Yes, this is true. It is not right to be arrogant to maintain a family. In a quarrel, the one who has committed more offenses will apologize first. Forgiveness is a sign of greatness. Both should be forgiven.
Yes the forgiveness is the sign of greatness not cowardice. It proves who cares for the relationship the most and want to continue even after the arguments.
Thank you for stopping by and leaving your valuable feedback.