SLC-S24/W2 - Powerful Debate | Love vs Capability.

After enjoying the delicious meal cooked by his wife, Mr James is about to leave for work. A short conversation ensues, revealing a lot about their responsibilities and duties.

Husband: Honey, I am leaving for work; take care of the house and the kids.

Wife: Have a nice day, dear; ooh, sweetheart, I almost forgot, the landlord stopped by to remind you that our rent will be due in four months, and the school have sent a newsletter that there will be a fee drive on Monday.

Husband: Thanks for the heads up. I will be meeting with a big client tomorrow, and it seems I am running out of clean clothing to change. Please don't forget to take the kids for immunisation before taking them to school today. And the food was great. Thanks for taking care of our stomachs so well.

Wife: Sweetheart, our next meal wouldn't taste that great. We have run out of resources. Please consider restocking the kitchen with supplies. Those things I asked for are the secret behind the tasty meals.

Husband: I know my Dear. And I am doing my best, these so-called ends are not easily meeting out there this days.

Husband goes out to engage in back-breaking work to provide for the family while the wife attends to an enormous mountain of work waiting for her at home.

The strangling economic crisis has prompted women, wives and mothers to join the workforce, sparking endless debates about women pursuing a career instead of sticking to the traditional gender roles that characterized African society. This has raised questions like, should women work outside the home?. Who now cares for the children?.
This is born out of the long-held social norm that men should work and provide for their families while the woman works at home, caring for the domestic chores and, most importantly, the children.

To meet the ever-rising financial needs of the family, some women have taken up paid jobs outside the home; some are actively in pursuit of a career.
Is educating a girl child still equivalent to educating a nation now that they pursue careers that do not give them time to transmit that precious knowledge to their children?

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Should mothers be judged for pursuing their careers or dreams?

A closer look at the dialogue between Mr James and his wife revealed the truth about the family's financial situation. The kitchen is running low on supplies, school fees and rent are coming in hot on Mr James.
Wives have had to step in, from doing little things to taking up full-time jobs and now pursuing a career. Did the man need help with providing for the family? Yes he did need help. But now the balance has shifted from helping the breadwinner to some, now winning the bigger bread. Working hard to keep the kids in school, a good school. This has led to women and mothers working hard to keep up with a lifestyle and a standard of living.
So, should they be criticised for offering to help? No. But there is a twist. Now that this mothers are at work, pursuing a career, who is looking after the kids? Who is keeping the home and caring for domestic chores? Who is offering the kids the much-needed parental training?
James' wife was not perfectly handling her overwhelming work on the home front, and now that she is not at home to give the kids the attention, skills, training and needed discipline. Ballance is needed else the family is on a path to failure.
James's wife will leave the house to work as a housemaid in someone's big house, doing the same house chores she left undone in her own house for a fee.
John now needs a housemaid. And John's wife is doing what some other woman left undone in her house in pursuit of a career, to make more money to give her children a better life.

Is a mother who focuses on her work life and neglects the responsibility of her children, can she still be called a "perfect mom"? "They said a good mother never puts herself first but she wondered who would tell her daughter that her dreams mattered too?"

In the traditional African society where gender roles are emphasised. I will pronounce this mother guilty of gross negligence of duties; she can not fit into the category of a good mother, not to mention a perfect mum.
Due to your kid's proximity and interaction with the housemaid, your kids adopt her values and worldview; they think and make decisions based on her standards. She provides the everyday correction, training and discipline. Your kids recognize you as their mother but will confined to the housemaid.
During this time, the mother is busy pursuing a career that will provide the money to keep the house running, pay fees and feed.
When your housemaid is the first to know the young man in your daughter's life, and she is the one to approve of their relationship when her opinion about the man she is about to marry carries more weight than yours. It is there and then that you should explain to her that you also had a dream that mattered too. That you had your life to live, and all you did was for them and see if it helps.
But was she supposed to stay at home with her kids? What do kids need from their mothers?

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What do you define a good mother? A mother who commits all her life to her children, raising them, or a mother who works day and night to build a better future for her children while holding on to her dreams?

A woman's cooking is very important to a traditional African man. But a lot of women today can not cook because they did not have that time to learn the African cuisines from their Mum who was not available due to work.
Men don't breastfeed; it was the nature of women and mothers to nurture and care for kids, groom them and train them. The father was to provide an enabling environment. Though he too has failed in his duties, today was not the day to examine his role. He should have provided enough for the mother to stay at home.
Bringing up a child was the duty of parents both of them. The father provides and protects while the mother nurtures, educates and trains. That is why educating a woman was equivalent to educating a nation, she was expected to pass it down. The father was supposed to enforce the training and discipline. It was a joint project. Leaving your role and perfectly covering up for the other partner is a failure.
You may end up working day and night to build a better future for a child who, due to your not being available, will end up not having a future at all.
Build your dreams around your responsibilities. Work hard to keep your husband by your side. If he needs help with income, support him while taking care of your own end of the bargain. Do not try to take over his role or switch places.
If you have very big dreams, as a woman. Are you sure children are included in that dream? Some types of success are not mutually inclusive. Spending more time at work will mean less time at home. You can't get both.

Invitation

I am inviting the following to participate: @udyliciouz, @, @dequeen and @bela90

Media Credit

Composer	@manuelhooks
Graphics from	pixabay.com
Date	Wed. 39 April
	(@) 2025