SLC-S24/W3 - Powerful Debate | Love & Arguments

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Hello everyone!

When love stumbles, it is silence that becomes guilty

It sometimes happens that two beings who loved each other with the passion of the beginnings, who built day after day the fragile edifice of their union by giving it as a foundation tenderness and the promise of shared fidelity, suddenly find themselves prisoners of a heavy silence, born of a misunderstood word, an uninterpreted gesture, or an expectation that the other was not able to guess, and that this mutual incomprehension then takes the form of a conflict, often harmless in its origins, but fearsomely corrosive in its effects if it is not contained in time by a soothing word or a sincerely pronounced forgiveness.

Now, in this tension which arises without always warning, in this rupture of the harmonious evidence which once made the sweetness of everyday life, it becomes urgent, not to designate a culprit or to seek victory in the debate, but rather to preserve what remains of listening, tenderness and respect, and for this, it is necessary that one of the two, if not both, take this essential step towards the other, this step which we call forgiveness, and which often requires more courage than the conflict itself.

🌸 Should it be the man who says sorry, or the one who realizes the hurt caused?

It is true that society, with its successive layers of tacit traditions, has too often imposed on men a form of moral responsibility in maintaining marital peace, wrongly considering that it would be more noble, more virile or more protective on their part to quell the quarrel with a word of apology, even if they are not the one at fault, but this expectation, although apparently generous, locks men into a posture of perpetual reparation and deprives women of the opportunity to act. in turn as an actress of reconciliation.

I deeply believe that there is no universal rule as to who must first bow to the fragility of the moment to rekindle the flickering flame of the emotional bond, I think that the truth lies rather in a shared lucidity: that of the partner who realizes, often before the other, that we are losing more than a debate, that we are in the process of cracking a trust, damaging an intimacy, and that it is better to have a word of regret, even an imperfect one, than a prolonged silence which creates an abyss.

🌸 The idea that it is always the husband who apologizes: a gesture of love or an unfair expectation?

It happened to me, in my own experience of life as a couple, to observe how sometimes a simple word can put out a budding fire, how a sincere look, followed by an “I’m sorry”, can re-establish communication where everything seemed to be collapsing, but I also learned that if this initiative always amounts to the same thing, it no longer becomes a gesture of peace but a burden, a resignation, a sterile routine which in the long run creates a feeling of injustice or weariness.

Because in a mature, loving couple, respectful of their balance, there should be no fixed role in the exercise of forgiveness; it is not the woman, through her supposed gentleness, nor the man, through his feigned authority, who should systematically make this gesture, but rather the one of the two who, in this precise moment, feels that love deserves more effort than pride, that peace is better than a temporary triumph in an argument which, very often, will be forgotten the next day but will have left traces.

🌸 Ego, pride, silence: the fatal trio of a crumbling love

Maintaining silence after an argument is not a proof of strength but an act of weakness disguised as courage, because pride, when it takes hold over time, becomes a slow poison which alters the memory of happy days, which rewrites memories from the angle of resentment, and which pushes two beings who loved each other to become strangers under the same roof, distant spectators of a shipwreck that they could have avoided with a simple “I hurt you, excuse me".

Forgiveness, far from being a surrender, is an art, a subtle alchemy between the heart which agrees to show itself vulnerable and the reason which understands that preserving the union is a nobler fight than winning a quarrel, which is why I plead, not for an asymmetrical obligation where the same partner would always be responsible for repairing, but for a reciprocity of gestures, a balanced circulation of compassion and a sense of responsibility in the relationship.

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Thank you very much for reading, it's time to invite my friends @sualeha, @drhira, @shiftitamanna to participate in this contest.

Best Regards,
@kouba01