"SLC-S24/W6 - Powerful Debate | Yes or no/ pros and cons | NO |"

Hi, my dear Steemians, we are already into the last week of SLC-S24/W6 by "The Ladies Universe Community." My pick of the week is "The Pros or Cons of "Boundaries and Expectations," and I don't believe in restrictions, so my answer is "NO."

I don't believe in having expectations and setting boundaries in relationships, so my answer is no!

The importance of relationships does not change with time, but our priorities and circumstances do. As we grow up, our responsibilities and priorities change. New people and relationships come into our lives, which change our priorities but the importance of relationships never changes.

Relationships are an important part of our lives, and they always remain important to us. With time, our relationships have ups and downs, but their importance never changes.

Why the heck do we need boundaries in relationships? There should be no communication gap between partners; that needs to be intact. Boundaries might create a rift in the relationship, and break the relationship; therefore, its dignity should always be remembered, so I see no need of boundaries in relationship.

No relationship can last long without respect. So the main thing is to make your relationships strong. It is important to respect each other. Trust and be honest, because the foundation of every relationship in the world is based on trust, and boundaries will make the relationship awkward. I firmly believe that the pros and cons of limitations and expectations depend on the context, especially in the relationship in which you are looking at them.

Limitations can be both positive and negative, while expectations often act as an incentive, but sometimes they can also cause frustration and pressure, especially when relations are at stake. I would say boundaries make us slaves and not true partners.

 
Here I will tell you about a joyful girl during her student life. When she was in her final year of management college, she fell in love with one of her classmates. He promised her to provide the entire world, but what happened to her?

A lot changed with time. Earlier she used to study and have fun, and after their studies were completed, they both joined two different companies through campus selection, and today she only works, I mean works at her job and at home, because her husband has placed boundaries on her. She is a typical South Asian girl who is responsible for household work.

There was a time when he was with her all the time, and today, he comes to her when he needs her. He doesn't even ask her well-being unless he needs money. He treats her as if he did her a favor by marrying her. To be frank, he has set different sorts of boundaries on her, and at times she reaches the point when she wants to break all shackles and free herself from all boundaries.

Whenever the feeling of "I" comes in between a relationship, it is certain that the relationship will be spoiled. That relationship cannot be saved until the feeling of "I" is not removed.

And it all depends on mutual coordination, sometimes one accepts his mistake, sometimes the other person accepts their mistake. This is how life goes on happily. But this case is hopeless. In this case, the husband has set the boundaries and considers himself as the boss.

They often discussed about this situation but to no avail

Girl, "I want to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind. Don't you think I have been a bit overworked, including my job and the housework for the last few months?

Boy, "I am busy, and you know that."

 
Girl, "I know you have a busy schedule in the office, but so do I. Don't you want to share some of these household responsibilities and not put the whole work on me?"

Boy, "Thank you for telling me about my responsibilities and understanding my job-related problems. I’m sorry you’re feeling that I am just enjoying my life. I know I should help you, but you know I have the responsibility of my parents, so I do overtime; therefore, I haven’t been as helpful in household chores as I should have been.

Girl, "I feel you could easily do the laundry and dishes instead of watching TV and YouTube in your free time. To me it feels like I’m the only one responsible for all the household work, including shopping, etc."

Boy, "You mean I don't want to help you but put you in shackles? In fact, I want to help you, but you see, I am so tired after the overtime that I need some relaxation."

 
Girl, "Great, maybe we should be more generous to each other, and you could relax some of the boundaries and expectations."

Boy, "Sure! I would love to do that as soon as I find some time. Maybe I will help you out on weekends."

Girl, "That sounds unfair, but I would really appreciate it if you gave me some "me time."

Boy, "Sure, I want you to relax and be comfortable at home."

Girl, "Thank you, but your statement again sounds as if I am comfortable at home only. Let me see what I can do to solve this problem."

 

Her small expectations:

 

*I am free individuals so I need no boundaries but equal rights.

*I am your wife, so don't treat me as your slave.

*I love you and expect the same from you, so don't boss me around.

*I am not a typical girl but earn as much as you do, so why keep me in the boundaries of the household?

*Why can't I have some me time and spend some time like you do?

Advantages:

Okay, I agree limitations protect us to some extent, providing security or maybe helping us control and focus on the activities of each other, but even this should have a boundary, which is most important for us, as we should have some "me time."

Expectations help us clearly define our goals and create a plan to achieve them. Expectations motivate us to work hard and perform beyond our potential.

Disadvantages:

I am not in favor of boundaries, so my emphasis is on that once someone loses faith in their partner, then believe me, it is impossible to get that person to trust you again; he will always look at you with suspicion. Now this girl has started doubting her husband, and believe me, this will ruin their married life.

But if you sit thinking that you never make mistakes, then it will be difficult to maintain the relationship. Sometimes one should apologize to the other person even for that thing in which he is not at fault.

Because sometimes it is the need of the hour, and later, at the right time, that person can be made to realize his mistake. I think the most important key to this relationship is trust and faith in each other, which should never be allowed to break; there is nothing like that left in it.

Limitations can prevent us from achieving our goals. They can limit us in our thoughts and actions. When we are frustrated because of our limitations, it can reduce our confidence and motivation. Limitations can prevent us from achieving opportunities that lie outside our boundaries. Expectations encourage us to achieve our goals. They motivate us to go further and do better.

When our expectations are not met, it can lead to disappointment, stress, and self-doubt. Excessive expectations can put us under stress and pressure. When we fail to meet our expectations, it can lower our confidence and self-esteem.

Ultimately, the value of boundaries and expectations depends on our own interpretation. We can see them as obstacles or as challenges. Both boundaries and expectations are important aspects of life that shape us and contribute to our development.

Do you believe in having expectations and setting boundaries for relationship? "No"
That was my point folks and now I invite @muzack1 @josepha and @solperez to give us their version.

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