"SLC-S24/W3 - Powerful Debate | Love & Arguments".

>I will go for Topic 1 - Misunderstandings can happen in a marital relationship, but in that case, should the husband always be the first to say sorry or sorry, or should both of them be the first to say sorry The mistake should be admitted.

 

ᴵᵐᵃᵍᵉˢ ᵐᶦⁿᵉ

Misunderstandings cause the most damage to relationships, and we often hear,

"I didn't mean it, you got me wrong."

Whereas the circumstances demanded mutual understanding but this statement was out of context or exaggerating the misunderstanding and this can ruin any relationship.

Misunderstanding in relationship

If the husband and wife blame each other for any mistake, it harms both of them and also sours the relationship. In the family, the victory of our partner is also our victory. If we insult our partner by arguing, it is not their defeat but our defeat.

Example:

I remember in the early days of our marriage, a family live next to our flat in Bangalore, and they used to quarrel often. One day, the wife said to her husband, "There is a husband and wife living next door; they are so peaceful; there is never any sound of quarrel from their house. You should go and check what they do to live in such a good way."

She was probably talking about us, and mind you we heard them saying this. Although we also used to quarrel, but we never fought on the balcony like they did rather, we used to solve our problems quietly in our bedroom.

So maybe that is why he came to our house the next morning and saw that my wife was mopping the hall. Then there was a sound in the kitchen, and she went in there. I came out of the room, and intentinally hit the mop bucket. All the water from the mop bucket spilled on the floor.

On hearing the noise, my wife came from the kitchen and saw that there was water all over the floor, so she said, “It is my mistake that I did not move the mop from the way.”

I replied, “No, it is my mistake because I did not look carefully, and by mistake my foot touched it.”

Both of us accepted our mistakes and got busy with our work. We knew why he had come, so he saw all this and went and told the whole thing to his wife. Mind you, that was our natural reaction.

I think both of them must have understood the difference between them and us was that they blamed each other for every mistake, whereas they saw we were ready to accept our mistake.

After that, the noise of quarrels in their house reduced because probably they had realized their mistake and had also learned a lesson from this incident for the future. The conclusion is, partners are like two wheels of a cart. If there is a problem in even one of them, then the cart can not run properly.

Our golden rule is, "Solve all the problems between two of us before going to bed or saying goodnight."

 

Sometimes there can be misunderstandings in a relationship. These misunderstandings can be big or small, but they increase the distance between partners. Many times these small misunderstandings can be the reason for the breakdown of your relationship.

But why do misunderstandings actually happen, and can they be avoided in any way?

There is no relationship in which there has never been any misunderstanding. That is, it is natural to have misunderstandings in relationships. There can be misunderstandings in everyone's relationship. But you should know how to get out of it, how to stop it from growing, and what to do so that your relationship is not affected too much because of it.

 

For example

When the wife expresses her grief, instead of understanding her, her partner rejects her.

For example, if my wife says, “Your mother is not treating me well,” and if I say, “No, it is nothing like that. You must have misunderstood.”

That will hurt her, and she will feel, for me, my mom was more important than her. I would rather say, "Maybe I would talk to her and ask her to consider your point of view."

It is very important to communicate openly and effectively in any relationship or conversation. If you feel uncomfortable or unsure about something your partner has said, it is very important to say it in a respectful manner. You should pause for a while and consider what was said before reacting without listening to anything.

First of all, you should accept that you have misunderstood. Admitting your mistake or acknowledging that your words may have been unclear shows humility and your interest in resolving the problem. Many times it happens that you speak with a different intention and your partner misunderstands it. Due to which many times misunderstandings increase.

These things happen more when both of you talk on messages. Explain the logic behind your statement or any factor that may have influenced your words. Clearly express what you wanted to say with your words. Explain your intentions to your partner.

Now I will answer your questions as you asked them

●Reveal the simple thinking of your mind and show us that in any quarrel or problem that arises between a couple, the first thing that men do is always admit their mistakes and apologize to their wives in order to keep their relationship intact. Is this right, or should the one who is at greater fault in the quarrel first admit his mistakes and apologize to his partner and try to fix the relationship?

This is when you feel defensive or guilty about something you did. It can be a way to deflect or minimize your responsibility and protect yourself. It’s easy to predict how our partner will or won’t react to something based on past experiences. For example, you may decide not to talk to your partner about something because you “already know” how they will react. In doing so, you don’t give your partner the opportunity to go beyond your expectations.

This can build up resentment based on something that hasn’t even happened yet, and you’re sabotaging your relationship. Sometimes you talk about one thing and end up fighting about many other things that don’t make sense at the time. This is easy when you let a conversation or argument get off topic.

●Where many people think that in a fight, the husband should be the first to say sorry and their wives should be the first to resolve the conflict and mend the relationship. Do you agree with this view, or do you think it is different in your case? Express your own feelings.

Whenever we value our relationship and someone is more important than us in our life, then it often happens that even when there is no mistake, we try to save the relationship by apologizing. If someone is a special person, apologizing is no big deal because she is someone special. Apologizing is an art; not everyone knows it. No one becomes big or small by apologizing. Pride and ego are destroyed. Have patience. Relationships have to be maintained. Move ahead. All will be well.

Now, the second point: you are a kindhearted person. It is your nature to forgive someone quickly. If you want to maintain a relationship, then do not think too much that the person in front of you is not bowing down or is being arrogant. Let him do it, but you should speak first or say sorry, etc. Time will teach him everything. Experience will improve him. Just keep being good. The world will understand you one day. All you need to do is have some patience and don't let the ego rise.

I felt deep inside that perhaps there is no use in this fight. She is my wife, and we have been living together for such a long time, and she is everything to me; without her, I have nothing. It is true that sometimes I am not wrong yet, respecting the relationship, I apologized to her. But in our case it happens from both sides.

●However, in this case, would it be wise for both the husband and wife to admit their mistakes and apologize to each other in order to preserve their relationship, or would it be wiser to continue to maintain their egos and continue to cause unrest in the family day after day? Which do you think is right?

It is normal for a husband and wife to fight because it is said that where there is love, there is bound to be a quarrel. But sometimes some habits shake the foundation of this strong relationship and take it to the brink of breaking. People knowingly or unknowingly repeat them and put their marriage in danger.

It is said that the relationship between a husband and a wife is an unbreakable bond which is based on love and trust. By promising to support each other for the whole life, partners sometimes become enemies. Some do not live together and some are not together even though they are together in the same house. Where there is love, there will be conflicts too, but some habits or mistakes take this unbreakable relationship to the brink of breaking. People knowingly or unknowingly make such mistakes which become the reason for regretting for the whole life. To maintain a relationship, there is a need to understand each other.

Considering wife's complaint as negativity and trying to silence her is wrong. If a partner is repeatedly pointing towards a problem, it means that the problem can be serious.

But if we feel

“This is just her habit, she always keeps complaining.” Due to this thinking, they start trying to silence the wife, which hurts the wife even more.

Some husbands even say that “You can keep crying, shout, or leave the house, it doesn't matter to me!” This attitude can completely spoil the relationship and can further increase the emotional distance between the two.

With time, the couple in the relationship starts becoming more comfortable with each other. But if, in this relationship, one of the partners starts thinking that the partner takes advantage of him/her all the time, then this negativity can take a toll on the relationship. To maintain bonding and love in the relationship, the couple should listen to each other's problems and work on understanding them and finding a solution.

In a relationship, men and women complain that their partner does not listen to them or ignores them. Husbands also complain about the same. Habits like not listening to each other and ignoring each other create a rift in the relationship. Sit together and talk every day because this habit clears misunderstandings and also helps in finding a solution to the problem. It will reduce the need to say sorry all the time.

That was my point of view and now I invite @senehasa @yenny47 and @jesusbar23 to the Steemit Challenge S24W3 | Powerful Debate - Love vs Arguments this week.

Beneficiary @hive-154900