"SLC-S24/W2 - Powerful Debate | Love vs Capability".

I am here to share my views about Steemit Challenge S24W2 | Powerful Debate Love vs. Capability. I invite @senehasa, @pandora, and @kouba01 to share their views on this topic. I am here again and writing my views in the second week.

 

ᴵᵐᵃᵍᵉ ᵐᶦⁿᵉ ᵉᵈᶦᵗᵉᵈ ᶦⁿ ᵐˢᵖ

You may ask, why? Just because I have something to say about this topic and the theme is pulling me like a magnet. I am sure challenges like these will keep me busy on this platform. I know I have never come across @vishwara, but the way she wrote this debate topic forced me to come back.

"I love argument, I love debate. I don't expect anyone just to sit there and agree with me, that's not their job.” Margaret Thatcher

But when I started writing, I asked myself, is it so easy to write about love and its side effects especially debates? I don’t know, maybe the answer hides in the future's womb, but then I tried, and yes, it was like the secret hidden in the eyes of Mona Lisa’s painting.

But I was certainly smiling all the while, exactly the way a person normally does when presented with something precious. I could not gather the courage to write a personal experience, so I am talking about a real story.

I must tell you all that those years from 2020 to 2022 were kind of hell for all of us because most of us were working from home almost every day with no traveling around, which is part of our job and which gave reasons for disturbing moments to one of my coworkers during the COVID-19 era.

I was working with a Canadian engineer as my first assistant, an electronics engineer who was also a photographer. His partner, a professional in the education field, was comparatively better off since she took to the new living more graciously and managed her online job in a perfectly professional way. They had their workstations in separate rooms because they both needed to talk with their workmates and students during their work, so they had limited time chatting to each other apart from lunch or brief breaks for tea or coffee.

“Hey, lovey,” she would call from the other room, and his answer at most times, “What the heck,?” but he loved that.

But she knew him better than that, so she will always give him a kiss, flying all the way from her room to his room.

You know, "What didn’t kill us but kept us still alive is okay! Isn’t it?"

ᴵᵐᵃᵍᵉ ᵐᶦⁿᵉ

So the two were doing fine and apparently had not much trouble during that period. His partner and he had made friends during the years and visited them and received them; that had helped them a lot.

Incidentally, his partner spent about 9 weeks in Melbourne looking after her sick friend and her daughter since her husband could not come back from the UK because of the COVID-19 travel restriction. But then the love has its own side effects too; for some these are positive, but for some others these could well be negative.

Meanwhile, his partner had gone to visit her friend for a few days, but then this border closure held her back for longer than his expectation, which was a horrible experience for my coworker that stated the trouble. I could sense he displayed some behavioral problems, but I overlooked them, as that could be the case with any of us in his situation.

I am telling you this because he was behaving like a freaking madman for about the first 2-3 weeks, and he couldn‘t think positively during that time, and that was that. He asked her partner that he had joined a dating site with a couple of dating mates because he couldn’t sleep properly.

He would like to forget that period of time as soon as possible. I don’t think he slept at all for two to three weeks. I also remember he was taking a couple of extra glasses of wine or beer, but that did more harm than help his cause.

When Sandra, my friend's wife, agreed to join her friend to help her and was gone, he probably realized that developing a dependency was not good for him. That’s right, he thought that he had been a little too dependent on her. He probably still was, but he thought it was no good for him.

He felt like he was alone in the world with no place to go, no one to see in the big house, and nothing to eat. Yes, he was a lousy cook, so his partner was the one cooking most of the time.

He was getting a strange feeling in his mind for all the time he was awake, and he was awake for 20-21 hours for the best part of the 3 weeks in question. He couldn‘t sit or lie down or talk to his coworkers properly.

Life is more horrible; maybe it might sound a little melodramatic, but I think if I were in his position, I would be mad for the rest of my life. But I told him that this happens when you love someone but don't sacrifice your sleep or your career.

We all know that love is the foundation of any relationship. This means that if there is love between you and your partner, the relationship will always remain intact. But is love alone really the guarantee of the success of a relationship?

The answer is no, love is necessary for a relationship, but it alone cannot make a relationship successful. The foundation of any relationship is based on respect. This includes understanding and respecting each other's feelings, thoughts and needs. A relationship that has mutual respect remains strong even in the worst days.

No relationship can survive without trust. This means that you can trust your partner blindly and believe in their honesty and promises.

I suggested he talk to his partner to come back, but her reaction was surprising. She may tell you honestly and respectfully that she does not want to return. I also suggested that by having trust, you can talk openly with each other and face difficulties together.

He did talk to her, but she bluntly said, “I appreciate your suggestion, but I don’t think it’s a good idea or time for me to come back, leaving my friend in trouble.”

My coworker was shocked since he thought she could respond politely, but she behaved a bit rudely and even avoided further conversations or showing any emotional attachment. Her replies were short, neutral, or nowhere near his expectation. He was feeling freaking mad but kept his cool.

She was clearly avoiding his requests to come back by keeping silent at this particular point and also avoided responding. That seemed as if she was more interested in her friend rather than his partner.

"Was it all over?" He thought, as for him, it's a sign of unwillingness to continue in the relationship to a certain extent. That, of course, was the end of the road, or at least it seemed like that at that point in time.

You said, Is love essential to keeping a relationship healthy, or can loyalty and understanding hold a relationship for a lifetime?

 
I feel effective communication is the backbone of any relationship. This means talking with an open heart, listening to each other, and trying to understand is the key. Keeping silent on problems or talking in anger increases distance in the relationship. I am sure my friend knew what was coming, so he focused on her responses without interrupting her anymore.

But once he heard her say, “I understand you feel hurt because I am out for so long and you need me with you in this horrible situation.” He knew she was coming back to terms and understanding his point.

So he said, “I feel disappointed when I don't see you after the work is over, but I guess you know better.”

His partner was a bit soft at this point as she responded positively, “I am glad you feel that way; you know she needs me as she and her daughter are sick.”

You talked about "perfect couple" for outsiders but truly having no feelings for each other and having a huge emotional distance?

 
If you think a perfect relationship is to bow down to all demands then my friend wanted to keep the relationship. “I appreciate how you feel about your friend and her family, so you can stay for a few more days, but try to come back as soon as the border restriction allows you to come back."

At that point his partner took a few moments break and then responded, "You know I love you, but my friend needs me right now."

Freedom is important in any relationship. This means that both partners should have the freedom to express themselves freely, meet with their friends, and grow personally. In such a relationship, distance between the partners makes a difference, but it all depends on circumstances.

I guess in this case she was doing what she thought was her duty. If she didn't care about his job or relationship, I don't blame her.

ᴵᵐᵃᵍᵉ ᵐᶦⁿᵉ

You said, is it wiser to hold on to peace or to chase what sets the heart on fire?

 
I feel everyone has a different nature in life. In such a situation, acceptance is important in a relationship. This means that both partners should accept each other's shortcomings and qualities and be able to adjust to each other. There are ups and downs in a relationship, and with compatibility they sure can face them in a positive way.

Her last answer settled the matter for them. She said, “I know we both have a strong bond with each other, but then we have our own ways of living or seeing to it that someone else has priorities in our lives. Right?

My friend saw her point, so he said, "I understand your point that doing things according to the situation makes us unique, and you're doing just that. I know you and that you love me, but you love your friend as much. But at this point the challenge for me is how to survive without you. I don’t expect you to change for me. I will wait for you because I love you, so take your time.”

She came back within the next three days, and their problem was sorted out. But do you believe that such problems might not recur in the future?

The debate will go on.