"SLC-S24/W5 - Thoughts and reflections.

Myself @aspiya From #Bangladesh

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Greetings Wonderful Individuals

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Today I’m enthusiastic to enter the Steemit Challenge S24W5 | Powerful Debate/Thoughts and Reflections, that has been organized by @fannyescobar. I have chosen this topic, "Do you think being used by others allows you to mature in character and learn?" It is something I deeply share personally, and I want to put my current reflections I’m having into words, because even when they’re something that can be painful, these moments can lead to such strong personal growth.

My Personal Story: Used by a Friend

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Once in my university days, I too made a friend who came to me when she needed someone the most. She was staying in University hostel and she used to say that she was not finding hostel life amicable at all. We started meeting up and talking during class, and over time we grew closer. One day, she confided that life in the hostel had been tough she was physically and emotionally drained. Feeling bad and sorry for her, I asked her if she'd like to stay at my place too.

She agreed and moved in with me. I did everything I could for her emotionally, mentally, just the daily comforts of life. It was good to do something that helped a friend in trouble. I believed we were stronger than that. But I didn’t realize, back then, that I was just an interim destination, a convenience during her hard time.

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But once her basic needs were met, and things began to improve for her, everything changed. She got cold; eventually she just left — without giving a proper goodbye, thanks, or anything’. She didn’t just drift away in my life, she literally disappeared out of it and stopped speaking to me as if the former friendship had never been.

It was a painful realization. I felt betrayed, manipulated and disrespected. That person, whom I had trusted and welcomed into my home, had kicked me in the face not literally, but in a way that was no less painful.

Reflection

It taught me a terrible but necessary lesson. It can break your heart to be used by someone, but it can make you smarter, too. It made me more wary of whom I trust and enforced the natural knowledge that not everyone has good intentions no matter how nice they may appear to be. It also taught me about my own character that I can still opt for kindness even if it’s not reciprocated. If that period of my life hadn’t happened, I would be much less aware, much less emotionally mature, much less cautious.

As with Antonio’s story where he manipulated Isabel’s trust and kindness to his own gain before leaving her mine too is a warning that people can try on the guise of neediness and love, but discard it when it no longer serves. But while it can seem only a curse to be used, it can also be the path to building a stronger, more conscious, self-respecting version of ourselves.

Should we experience life in order to mature our character?

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Absolutely, life experience is crucial to the formation of character. Maturity isn’t necessarily chronological, it comes when you live through the good and the challenging one. Pain and joy and failure; trust and betrayal all of these things, these feelings and events, or invested with the power to make us think differently about ourselves and the state we’re in.

This means even during not-so-happy times you are learning. Patience from waiting, strength from struggling, and compassion from suffering. We can only grow so much without being confronted in real life. Experience serves only to test, polish and maturate our character.

How can we tell when someone is just trying to take advantage of our good heart?

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Certainly we can’t always tell when someone is taking advantage of our kindness especially when we feel like overlooking the best in others. But waves do ultimately disclose truth over time. One big indication is one-sided effort if you’re consistently the one who is giving, nurturing or assisting while the other person rarely does those things for you, that’s a red flag.

Another tell is easy communication. Some come around only when they want something, and when they get it, they disappear. These are typically relationships that have no authenticity or sustained work applied to them.

Also, notice how you feel around the person. When you are constantly feeling depleted, unappreciated or used, your intuition is probably trying to alert you. Real relationships, friendships, or love isn’t about one-sided gain, it’s about mutual respect.

It’s not about getting colder or more distant, it’s about establishing healthy boundaries and knowing when someone values your heart or simply uses it.

Conclusion

It is crappy to be used by other people, but it is usually some kind of lurch-forward moment in your growth as a person. The challenges in life, especially when they put our trust and goodness to the test, are making us more wise, powerful and self-aware. And while we shouldn’t stop being kind, we must find a way to shield our hearts by knowing our worth and who appreciates us. Because in the end, everything— the good, the bad about an experience, molds our character and avails us for a better us.