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Enhancing the Mind’s Simplicity – A discussion over apology and ego in relationships

Once upon a time while a husband and wife deeply in love had started their journey. Five years of companionship resulted in a marriage, and then their story of life partners ensued. Like many couples they had dreamed to have peaceful loving life. But soon enough reality set in – doubts, quarrels and egos began to obscure their wellbeing.

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This is not a story of theirs – it is the story of many couples today. Who should apologize first when two people argue? Who will always be responsible to say sorry, the man or who is wrong? Let’s discuss.

A great many people think that men should always apologize first, that they should “be the bigger person” in order to save the relationship. Society assumes that men should take the initiative to end an argument since it’s a responsibility which comes with the job and this part of being mature.

In most homes men suffer silently and say sorry even when they know they have not been wrong, just so fake the silence and reestablish the peace. For others this might be the act of love. But is it fair? It’s not always the right thing to do?

On the contrary, others believe that the person that is more in the wrong should be the one making an apology; wife or husband. A relationship is a partnership, it is not a competition.

Responsibility for one’s error (male or female) is a sign of emotional maturity. And when both partners acknowledge that they are wrong and beg for forgiveness, then this builds trust, respect, and equality into the relationship. Isn’t that what love is truly concerned with?

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But pride and ego do that. The wife is thinking: Why should I apologize first? He should fix things.” And the husband thinks “Why should I stoop down? That will damage my image.” Days pass in silence. Anger accumulates, but simplicity is all — one sincere apology. Pity, but they are not going to yield, and their beautiful relationship has ebbed away. But if any of them would just say, “I’m sorry”, could the situation have been salvaged earlier?

Now this is a more balanced approach. What if the husband and wife both backed off and said “Maybe I also was wrong”? What if they would apologize together? It is not a losing proposition to say sorry. it’s about winning hearts. Mutual apologies can ease the hardest moments. Love flourishes when two people are willing to learn and grow and forgive. Is not it better to live with peace than with the heavy weight of ego?

Not all are free from archaic notions that some roles remain sacrosanct at a relationship – men as peacemakers and women as the emotional handymen. But in fact, two partners should work as an entity. Marriage is not a place of war where a man must win. It’s a journey where it should be together, one by the other hand in hand.

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Finally, the dogma that only men are to apologize is old-fashioned. The real question should be: who cares more about relationship than their ego? The answer is simple – both should.

Relationships do not continue due to the individuals who win arguments, but to those who love and value peace over pride. Nowadays, in this modern world where a lot of relationships are destroyed over casual misunderstandings a small apology can save a lifetime of being together.

Let us all adopt a simple mindset: whoever realizes their mistake first should say sorry — and even when we don’t feel wrong, sometimes love is reason enough.

So, what do you think? Should love be greater than ego? Should we keep score, or should we keep peace? This is a question worth discussing in every home.

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