Steemit Challenge S26-w2| Mysterious Roommate

in #fiction-s26wk22 days ago

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Timothy had been restless since he saw the things inside Ronnie's bag that night. He realized that the tools had made his suspicions even deeper. He also realized that whoever this man was, he was not a businessman.

Timothy's dilemma

All night long Timothy wondered, "Should he go to the police or quietly observe everything?" But he was also afraid, if Ronnie was really a dangerous person or if Ronnie caught him, that would also be dangerous.

The next morning, he saw Ronnie going somewhere outside the city, he quietly left with the bag in his hand. Meanwhile, Timothy again took great courage and followed him from a distance. He saw Ronnie enter an old warehouse, where nothing could be seen from the outside to see what was going on inside.

Secret meeting

At that time, Timothy was peeking through a small hole in the warehouse, inside there were a few strangers surrounding Ronnie. There was also a table, with some maps spread out on the table. "The next shipment will arrive in four days. Let no one suspect us. The police have been misled, everything has to be done perfectly."

Seeing this and hearing the words, Timothy's chest trembled. Hearing the word "shipment", he was afraid, was this word for business purposes? Or for something illegal? He couldn't understand this at all.

Timothy's decision

That night, Timothy wrote down all this in his diary. What he saw, heard, and all the unusual behaviors of Ronnie. But he did not have the courage to go to the police. He decided to find out Ronnie's real identity himself.

Then he started searching Ronnie's room to see if he could find anything. He found the previous bag under the bed, but this time he saw something new - an old envelope. Inside the envelope was an identity card - Ronnie's name was written there "Captain Ronnie Rahman, International Security Division."

He realized that Ronnie was not an ordinary businessman, he might really be a spy.

A glimpse of the truth

The next day, when Ronnie returned home, Timothy pretended that he did not know anything, but a curiosity was growing inside him. He did not understand whether Ronnie was working for the government or betraying them.

Ronnie would sometimes talk on the phone at night, the way he spoke was completely unfamiliar. Timothy once had to listen through the door a little, Ronnie was asking if the documents were safe with someone. But he also said that someone seemed to be following me.

Hearing this, Timothy's body went cold. He realized that Ronnie had caught him.

The final confrontation

Then suddenly one day Ronnie was saying to Timothy, "You seem to have become very quiet. Is everything okay?"
Timothy said in a trembling voice, everything is okay. But Ronnie laughed at his words.

"He also said that I know you checked my things. Don't worry, I didn't understand anything."

Timothy was very scared. Had he been caught this time?

That's when Ronnie said calmly, "Not even half of what you know is true. "I am not a criminal, Timothy. I am an undercover agent. Many years ago, I worked in the Black Shadow operation. Now I am working again to break an international crime ring. But I am not alone here, there are many traitors inside our country. And that is why I cannot trust anyone.

Timothy was completely shocked.
"He is saying, but the police think you are a criminal."

Then Ronnie_ That is my cover, so that the real enemies think of me as their own. If they find out that I am an agent, they will not let me live anymore.

Timothy was still in doubt. Will he betray many people close to the police? Or will he stand by Ronnie and uncover the secret of that secret ring?

Just then, the sound of sirens was heard from outside. The police had surrounded the entire area.

Ronnie then looked at the window and said softly_ They will enter the flower and take me, and then I will never be able to complete my mission. Now you make your decision, will you help me or will you hand me over to the police Will you give it to me?

Timothy's decision

Then the police sirens got closer. Timothy hesitated, but he saw the determination in Ronnie's eyes and he believed that the man was not lying. Then he slowly said to Ronnie_ "I will not hand you over to the police, but you must tell me the truth to the end."

Then Ronnie said with a smile on his face, "Then listen"

Black Shadow Mystery

Ronnie was basically working as an undercover agent inside an international crime ring called "Black Shadow". The ring is basically working on weapons and information smuggling. Their target is not only to undermine the security of a country but also the entire Asia.

The police are also after this ring, but again some high-ranking officials are involved with the police. That's why Ronnie basically doesn't trust the police either.

Ronnie said, "They are bringing a big shipment to this city tonight, if he doesn't stop it, it might be too late. Let's go."

Action begins

Timothy didn't look back, he said, "Take me with you. I want to work with you." The two of them went out, then Ronnie secretly informed his agent network, then Timothy helped him drive. Then in the middle of the night, they reached a warehouse by a river. Many large containers were being unloaded there. Then Ron heard some of their words, "Target locked. Operation begins."

Then suddenly the special forces surrounded the entire area, the night shook with the roar of guns.

The real villain

Then Timothy saw that Inspector Harry, the policeman who had repeatedly come to his door and called Ronnie a criminal, was one of the heads of this gang.

Right then Ronnie shouted_
"Your message has been opened, Haris!"

Then the policeman tried to escape, but was caught by Ronnie's team.

The victory of truth

Then when the container was opened there, he saw some modern weapons inside, some fake passports, along with hundreds of kilograms of explosives.

Then that night, this news spread throughout the country's media.

"Black Shadow gang destroyed, big conspiracy exposed within the police."

Then Ronnie's name came up, as a secret and a hero, because he was not officially credited here. This is because his identity must still remain a secret.

The last moment

In the morning, as the dawn broke, Ronnie put his hand on Timothy's and said, "I will never forget what you did. You are not just a roommate, you are my brother."

Hearing that, Timothy smiled and said, "Are you leaving? See you again."
Ronnie, "The life of a secret agent is all about farewells. But if needed again... I will be right back."

Thanks everyone

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Steemit Challenge Season 26 Week-2: Mysterious Roommate

Dear @tasonya, below is the detailed assessment of your submission.

CriteriaMarksRemarks
Story start to finish4.65/5Good
Originality & Uniqueness2.85/3Good
Presentation0.75/1Satisfactory
My observation0.9/1You rushed the mystery and leaned too much on telling instead of showing.
Total9.15/10

Feedback

  • You gave Timothy a bigger role, which was good, but he still came across as passive in key moments. He mostly followed Ronnie rather than making brave choices himself. That limited his character growth. Plus, you used headings, which was clearly not allowed in the contest rules.

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