Steemit Challenge s26wk2- Mysterious Roommate

in #fiction-s26wk2yesterday (edited)

Timothy lived alone in a room in a house in the city, he felt lonely in that place, he was thinking that he needed a roommate, one evening it was raining he was sitting on the balcony of his room, due to the rain there was no electricity in the house, suddenly a man came and knocked on the door, as soon as that man knocked on the door the electricity came on. Timothy was quite surprised, he slowly went to the door and opened the door and saw a handsome young man.

1000002707.jpg
Copyright free image downloaded from pixabay.com

The young man had brought an umbrella because of the rain, he had two bags in his hand, he was wearing beautiful clothes, because his face was beautiful, it increased in beauty with the clothes, why was his clothes slightly wet, Timothy opened the door and asked the man his name, then the man introduced himself as Ronnie, Timothy liked Ronnie at first sight, Ronnie was handsome and had a slim body and a beautiful pet, anyone who saw him would like him.

The two start a conversation, after the introduction phase is over, Ronnie tells Timothy that Ronnie wants to live with him, Timothy likes Ronnie and allows him to stay, and thinks to himself that since I live alone in this room, I needed a roommate, because Ronnie came, my need will be eliminated, now we can live in the room together.

While thinking about all this, Timothy brings Ronnie inside the room, after letting him sit in the room, Timothy tries to know more about him, basically Ronnie comes from the village, Ronnie came to this city to do business, he will do import and export business in that city, Ronnie also says that he likes business very much, because through business people can become self-sufficient very quickly, and through business people are most successful, Ronnie keeps telling Timothy the words very nicely and in a structured way, after listening to Ronnie, Timothy starts to like him even more.

For some time, the two of them lived in the same room together. One day, Timothy went out for some reason. He spent the whole day outside. He came to his room in the evening. When he came to the front of the room, he saw that the door of the room was open. Then, looking inside the door, Timothy could see that Ronnie had taken out one of his bags. Timothy was surprised to see the things that were taken out of the bag. He saw that steel tools like iron cutters, saws, a bunch of keys, a drill, a small gun, a magnifying glass, etc. were taken out of the bag.

Timothy looked at him in surprise and thought for a while that Ronnie had come to this city to do business, but the things he was seeing had nothing to do with business. After looking at him in surprise for a while, Timothy approached Ronnie and asked him why he had these things with him. Why did you actually come to this city, you have no business with these things, then Ronnie hurriedly wants to put the things in the bag but because of Timothy's interruption, he cannot put the things in the bag.

1000002708.jpg
Copyright free image downloaded from pixabay.com

Ronnie still tries to convince Timothy very calmly and nicely that he wants to come and do business with these, by then Timothy's eyes fall inside Ronnie's bag, finally he sees some papers here, those papers are basically a plan of theft and criminality in certain areas of the city, Ronnie can't understand in any way that Timothy has seen those papers, Timothy leaves the room without saying anything extra to Ronnie, after leaving the room he tries to find out different things about Ronnie, searches Ronnie's picture on Google.

After searching many images on Google, Timothy was even more surprised by the information he got, because Ronnie was a notorious terrorist, he used his handsome appearance and beautiful clothes to win people's hearts and stay in new places, and from there he would steal other people's property and try to harm other people, or go to a new area and try to incite communal riots, and when his purpose was achieved there, he would move to a new place, this is how he conducted his criminal activities.

Timothy understood the matter very well and immediately informed the law enforcement officers, the law enforcement officers quickly came to Timothy's house and arrested Ronnie, the law enforcement officers thanked Timothy, because they had also been looking for many of them for a long time, but they could not catch Ronnie in any way, because Ronnie would stay in one place for a short time and then move to another place, he would change his location and his get-up from time to time.

After Ronnie was taken away by law enforcement officers, Timothy was left alone again. This time he started thinking that he needed a good roommate. It was better to be alone than to have a roommate who was just looking at his appearance. Why did Ronnie start thinking that if he had stayed for a few more days, he would have faced a big problem himself. After Ronnie was taken away by law enforcement officers, exemplary punishment was arranged.

I am inviting my three active friends to participate in this beautiful contest, @jubayer95 @ripon009 @abdulmomin hope you will participate in this beautiful contest.
Sort:  
Steemit Challenge S26-w2 : Mysterious Roommate

Dear @mahmud552 , here is the detailed assessment of your submission:

CriteriaMarksRemarks
Story start to finish4/5
Originality & Uniqueness2/3
Presentation0.7/1
My observation0.8/1
Total7.5/10

Feedback

  • You tried well but left much to be desired.

  • I don't understand why Timothy thought his clothes were wet or why Ronnie came with a pet to share a room? The story ended before it started.

Moderated by: @dove11

Thank you very much for reviewing my post, it was mainly due to typing mistakes and translating them on Google, actually I should have been more careful, this is the first time I wrote a story like this, which is why it didn't go well, I will try to fix these mistakes in the future and participate in your challenge properly.

Most welcome, we have 4 more weeks!

I will definitely participate in these four weeks.