Steemit Challenge S26-w2| Mysterious Roommate

in #fiction-s26wk27 hours ago (edited)

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Mysterious Roommate

Timothy had a lot of doubts after seeing all the tools and things in Ronnie's bag. Again, some fear was working inside. But he made a plan for himself to observe Ronnie. Then that night, Ronnie went out again at the same time with his bag and things. Timothy pretended to be asleep, but Ronnie followed him as soon as he left.

But he did not let him understand in any way. Then Timothy followed him silently. At that time, the streets of Mumbai were very lively with car horns and some burning signboards, but Ronnie was moving around like a shadow - very carefully and calculatingly.

Then Ronnie stopped near an abandoned warehouse. Timothy was hiding behind a pile of boxes lying there, Ronnie opened a heavy gate and entered. Timothy was surprised to see this. Meanwhile, Ronnie went inside and got out his tools and started working - what looked like a locked steel chamber, on top of which he was working.

Seeing all this, Timothy's breath caught. "What is this?"

After opening the chamber, he saw that some old documents, strange devices and some encrypted files were seen. Ronnie then carefully took pictures of everything. Timothy could not understand what was happening. But by the intensity of the man's face, he knew that this was not a simple theft - this was something much bigger.

The next day, Timothy thought about asking Ronnie face to face, but he couldn't find the courage. "Meanwhile, a fear was working inside him again. Who is Timothy really?" But he couldn't find the courage to ask.

That morning, the two of them met their landlord. The landlord talked to them, asking how they were. The man was very nice. After the landlord left, Timothy was telling Ronnie, our landlord is very nice, I have been here for a few years, he helps me with anything I do. Hearing this, Ronnie gave a little smile. But Timothy couldn't understand anything.

Meanwhile, Timothy wanted to know more specifically about Ronnie. But he failed. But Ronnie was doing exactly whose work he was doing. Timothy did not understand anything about what was happening. One day, Ronnie said that since our landlord is very good, we should visit their house one day. Timothy said that it is okay, I have been there many times, I will take you. While talking about these things, the landlord arrived. Then Timothy was telling the landlord that he was talking about you, Uncle, Ronnie was saying that he would visit your house one day.

Hearing this, the landlord immediately said, "Yes, of course, then you will have dinner at my house tonight." Hearing this, the two of them agreed in one word. Right on time, the two of them went to the landlord's house to have dinner. Then Ronnie said, I am coming from the washroom for a while, while Timothy and the landlord were sitting and talking. Meanwhile, after a while, Ronnie went to the washroom again. After a while, Ronnie came back. And finished his dinner nicely. Meanwhile, Timothy is unable to find anything and is living in fear again.

One morning, Ronnie and Timothy were standing together talking in front of their house. And the landlord was leaving the house in his car, then Ronnie asked the landlord to stop for a moment, and asked him to get out of the car. Then the landlord said, "He has a special job, come and talk to him" But Ronnie said that he had something very urgent in a minute and got out of the car, and as soon as he got out of the car, he took out a pair of handcuffs in front of the landlord,! Both Timothy and the landlord were surprised to see this!

Immediately, some people came and surrounded his car. Then Ronnie told the landlord that you were arrested. The landlord asked for what crime, while Timothy also asked what he had done, Ronnie then said, Relax bro. And he took out some weapons from his car. Timothy looked at this with surprised eyes. And the landlord was arrested and taken away. "Timothy dared to say who are you?"

"Roni IPS - Special Investigator, CBI."

Ronnie smiled and said, "But I know you followed me that day," Timothy was surprised and a little embarrassed to hear this. Then, "The warehouse you saw? It was part of a long-forgotten government project—illegal arms trafficking disguised as medical research. I've been tracking down the people behind it for years. Your landlord, this guy, was on my list of suspects. That's why I came to rent his room with you. And I was finishing my work with a very thorough investigation.

That day, when I went to his house for dinner, I didn't go to the bathroom, I investigated his house and found a lot of things. And I realized that he smuggled all these weapons in his own car. He was a good person to everyone, so no one ever suspected him. Even with his certificate of good conscience, no one ever checked his car. Everyone knew he was a good doctor.

Timothy, I spent five years in this house, never realizing anything. And how thoroughly you investigated and found everything out. Ronnie said with a gentle smile, "We'll just stay friends."

I invite you to participate in this competition.
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Thank you everyone

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Hello dear! What a brilliantly crafted tale. The suspense built perfectly, and that final reveal was an absolutely masterful twist. Bravo on a captivating story

Steemit Challenge Season 26 Week-2: Mysterious Roommate

Dear @jannat7, below is the detailed assessment of your submission.

CriteriaMarksRemarks
Story start to finish4.5/5Good
Originality & Uniqueness3/3Excellent
Presentation0.8/1Good
My observation0.9/1By shifting the villain role onto the landlord, you reduced the dramatic tension between Timothy and Ronnie.
Total9.2/10

Feedback

  • Timothy himself sometimes faded into the background; most of the focus shifted to Ronnie. Since the original prompt centers around Timothy's suspicion and perspective, I felt Timothy's inner conflict could have been developed more.

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