Steemit Challenge s26wk2- Mysterious Roommate

Story : Mysterious Roommate

1000110248.jpg

Source

Beginning : An Unknown Coolness

The day was completely different. At least for Timothy.
Today, a new chapter in his life was beginning—a new university, a new environment, a new dream. The morning light was entering the house through the window. There was a kind of mysterious coolness in the air.

The whole family was standing in front of the door, saying goodbye to him. His mother said in a trembling voice,
— “Be careful, father. You know, three girls have suddenly disappeared from the vicinity of that university in one month. Even the police can’t find anything.”

Timothy held his mother’s hand and reassured her,
— “Don’t worry, mother, I’m not afraid. I’ll handle it.”

However, a hidden tremor arose in his chest.

A new beginning : Roommate Ronnie

As soon as he entered the hall, he met his roommate Ronnie.
Ronnie raised his hand with a bright smile and a confident voice,
— “Hi, I’m Ronnie. I’m an import-export businessman by profession.”

Ronnie’s way of speaking and his free-spirited demeanor impressed Timothy from the very beginning. But after a few days, he noticed something strange.

One night, Timothy woke up and saw Ronnie taking out a heavy bag from under the bed. Unable to control his curiosity, he went a little closer and saw—there were iron cutters, a saw, a bunch of keys, a drill, a small gun, and a firecracker inside.

Timothy’s chest trembled,
— “Who is Ronnie really? These things are used for illegal activities like theft, robbery, or espionage.”

Chasing the Shadow

One night, Timothy saw Ronnie secretly leaving the hall. He followed silently.

Ronnie was following a young woman in the dark alley of the city. The girl was looking back repeatedly with panicked eyes. Suddenly, he disappeared into thin air.

Timothy was stunned,
— “So is Ronnie behind that disappearance?”

After going a little far, Ronnie also suddenly disappeared. Timothy was shocked and searched for a dilapidated house in the city.

1000110249.jpg

Source

The terrible truth

Entering the house, his eyes widened. A masked man was sitting in the darkness. Ronnie and the young woman were tied with ropes next to him.

Timothy shouted,
— “Ronnie! Are you here?”

Ronnie said in a hoarse voice,
— “Timothy… I am not a criminal. I was trying to catch him.”

The masked man smiled crookedly and said,
— “Then you have to stay here too.”

Then a thrilling fight began. The masked man had a sharp knife in his hand, but Timothy jumped in. Ronnie seized the opportunity and helped him by breaking his leg bindings. The dark room was filled with the sounds of the fight—tables broke, glass shattered. Finally, the two of them were able to subdue the serial killer.

Reveal

As everything calmed down, Timothy asked in a tired voice,
— “Why didn’t you go to the police, Ronnie?”

Ronnie sighed,
— “I went… but they suspected me. The evidence was being fabricated against me. I understood that if I wanted to catch the real criminal, I would have to fight.”

Timothy remained silent. He understood that Ronnie was not really bad—rather, brave.

Conclusion

The university hall was filled with light again. The outside world seemed to be the same as before, but Timothy knew that his life would never be the same again.

He realized—people cannot be judged solely by their outward appearance. Sometimes true heroes fight behind masks, silently.

Ronnie is no longer just a roommate to him. He is his “companion to conquer the dark”—with whom he has broken through the mystery of the invisible shadow.


I invited three of my friends to join

@yousha4
@samin1
@abeed01

Thank You

Sort:  

Upvoted! Thank you for supporting witness @jswit.

Steemit Challenge Season 26 Week-2: Mysterious Roommate

Dear @bokhtiar1444, below is the detailed assessment of your submission.

CriteriaMarksRemarks
Story start to finish4.5/5Good
Originality & Uniqueness2.75/3Good
Presentation0.75/1Good
My observation0.75/1You used headings even though the instructions clearly asked for none.
Total8.75/10

Feedback

  • I think you rushed the resolution and made Ronnie's character too easy to figure out. The contest prompt wanted Timothy (and the readers) to remain doubtful about Ronnie's double life for longer. Instead, you leaned into action and gave a clean ending, which stripped away the intrigue.

Moderated by: @waqarahmadshah