I want the old me

Hi all my friends, I always hope that my friends all over the world are fine and that their days are always happy. In this post I want to convey a message from the bottom of my heart.

I really want me to be the same as before. But I don't know how. I really apologize to all my friends. This isn't me having done a power down,... I know my friends will be disappointed and I really know how all my friends feel🥹.

I can understand the feelings of all my friends. "Oh my gosh, even though Ulfatulrahmah's growth on Steemit is very good. Big Steemians also always support Ulfatulrahmah's account, especially Steemchiller who actually/desperately supports Ulfatulrahmah's account" This is what you think, right? Why does Ulfatulrahmah have the heart to deactivate her account? Even though the footprint on Steemit is already very developed and popular.

I turned off my account because of major problems with my family and my own personal problems. Honestly, I have been very honest and said it from the bottom of my heart.

Since I joined the Steemit Platform. As long as friends know. Every time I receive funds or assistance. I never spend any money on myself at all. In fact, since my work on the Steemit Platform, I have changed my family's life a lot. Supporting my younger sisters' school. Helps solve my family problems and other small things.

The first point of this post. I never leave the Steemit Platform, because I consider Steemit to be a place to save my future work. But I was very disappointed with myself. Because I have no other way. This is not about my family's final financial problems. This problem is my total personal problem, namely having large external debts.

This is the only walk I do. I don't consider myself to have disabled my account. I always consider myself that I am still active on the Steemit Platform🥹. I'm sorry my friends. Even though I need funds, I will still catch up and return my Steem Power to what it used to be. This is serious, it is my personal matter to pay off my debt. I don't want to be stepped on by people because I didn't pay off my debt.

It doesn't matter what I do, but I have to be responsible for what I have created.

A few days ago, I ran away from home to meet my old friends. I was really determined to do it, because the mental and chaos at home was very bad. I have no other intention of removing traces. Because of what? Because I want to calm down. Because at that time my mind was empty and completely stressed.

My friends really cheered me up. Until I arrived at a friend's village. My friends invited me to go to the beach. I know. I also understand, they invited me so that I could get comfort and calm.

When I tell all my problems and confide in my friends. They were just silent and sad thinking about it. However, my friends did not fail to cheer me up, so that I would be strong to face all the problems I faced.

Even though the place is very comfortable and beautiful on the coast. My thoughts are still bad. Even though I can still smile, what I feel is really uncomfortable.
—
I want to convey once. I don't consider myself to leave Steemit or turn off the account. Excuse me. This is my problem to solve the problem so that my life is calm and happy. I have promised that I will even work hard again after I pay off my debts😭.

Hopefully all steemians friends can understand. Actually, I don't want to tell you about my life now. But my heart couldn't bear it, I said this so that my friends wouldn't be angry and disappointed with me.

Until now. I continue to try to support all my steemians friends. I always support friends through my top posts. This is my first promise to support all my friends. Even though the contents of my brain are a mess. I always remember my friends.

I always don't consider myself leaving Steemit and dying. I always consider myself to be a steemian who is still active🥹. I really want this problem to be resolved, I have no intention of spending the shares I have stored in my wallet, these are my shares in my future, how much do I need I will definitely get my steem power back, I'm really in a mess and need to solve my problem, it will probably require half of my steem power. Moreover, I need it in the near future according to the date and time specified by that person. this is very urgent and very rushed for me.

Thank you for stopping by my post, see you...Bye, bye!!