How To Make A • Comedy Open Mic • Round 25 • Entry 1

in #howto6 years ago (edited)

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"Phew" amirite?

Feels like yesterday, when I made the promise of posting 1 write-up, everyday. Oh, maybe that's why I haven't been posting...

It's so difficult to make a funny entry for COM

Honestly, before deciding to write whatever I am currently writing, I had actually tried making an entry for COM. But goddamn man, it is just so tough.
@amirtheawesome1 how do you do it? Give me the stuff you get high on before writing a post too.

Excuse incoming
I guess some people are just wired like that - they can make decent (read: epicly funny and hilarious) comments but making a post is not their forte.
Excuse done

So instead, I'll do what any blogger does when they run out of ideas.

I'll make a How To post on the topic that I myself am not able to do.


How To Make A Comedy Open Mic Entry

by Sharan ihavenoideawhatimdoing Aithal,
a renowned...clueless...guy...thing.

Based on my "research" (read: being constantly disappointed by online How To articles)
the first thing
that must be done
is
a huge chunk of "introduction" text, which should say nothing while saying a lot.

Hello there online reader! Are you constantly worried when you try to make an entry for COM? Are you running out of ideas? Are you also wondering why this is sounding like a TV commercial? Well, don't worry!
Because you have now found this article!
So many exclamation marks!
A study conducted by Harvard Something shows that 48tzx2.6% of people suffer from this issue which you are suffering also. Why should you know this? We don't know! Was that number butt-typed? It sure was!
Let's all take a moment to exclamaaaaate!
The intro needs to keep going.
So we have found 12 ways in which you can make a COMpost!

*insert random ad about that awkward product you've been searching for online, since the past 4 days

Okay! Now that you have seen the ad, we can actually show you the mediocre, completely impractical and useless content that you came here for!
EXCLAMATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Here are the 8 ways in which you can make a COM post...Oh? Did we say 12?
Sorry! We forgot the number while counting up the dollar bills we made from that ad up there, haha.

8 12 Ways To Make A COMpost

  1. Add #comedyopenmic tag, irrespective of whether you even know about the Comedy Open Mic contest or not!
    Because who says No to free money am I right?! YEAHHHHHHHH BABY BRING EM DOLLA BILLZ!!
    Xclay may shuuuun

  2. Steal that joke off of your unfunny uncle, who stole it from the internet, who stole it from a COM post from Steemit, who got the idea to steal it from their unfunny uncle THANKS TO THIS HOW-TO GUIDE, BABY!
    He's the sucker for not putting it in the blockchain instead am I riiigggghhhhhht Steemians?!
    unnnghhhh Steemianssssss
    !!!!!

  3. At this point you already have your mouse cursor on the 'x' mark because you know that this is a shitty How-To testlisticle, so we'll say something that's appealing to everybody reading this...like...uh:
    Get up early in the morning!

    Who will disagree with that right?? We all hate ourselves already for not being able to accomplish that gigantic feat since college!
    感嘆符

  4. Oh god still 9 more to go? You know what, we'll just wing it.
    Call your mother.

  5. Brush twice a day.

  6. Go to Church.

  7. Get touched...
    Sorry, get in touch, with your i n n e r s e l f.

  8. Hmmm what else do we usually not do, and then give shit to ourselves out of guilt?...
    Burn the body before the cops arrive.
    Oh shit, no not that one.
    Uhhh

  9. Nominate 2 other people to participate in COM.

  10. Make a 3rd rate meme and slap it somewhere in your COM entry.

    feeltehburn.jpg
    This post deserves to be flagged for its complete unfunniness.

    I can relate! Haha, right guys??
    "No."

  11. Add in a GIF for good measure. GIFs with a caption always work, right @traf?!


    This post.


12. Persevere.



12.5 Tag whales.
That should work.

Right...@roelandp?

...









I nominate @take5 and @rahul.stan.
Sort:  

Hi sharanaithal,

Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating, this will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied.

Judges:

If you have any questions or quieries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here

Click To Vote @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!
Support COM Banner

Thank you to @matytan for the great banner

heeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeee

I wanna flag you for taking my name in vain, but I won't cuz I'm in a good mood today.

phew That was close...

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