SLC-S24/W1 - Tangled Emotion | The Powerful Conversation

If a man who finds a wife, finds a good thing, then isn't relationship a good thing? And if relationship is a good thing, why the many ups and downs? This I may say has many factors into it, hence when going into a relationship, we should have it in mind that it is not as happily ever after as we see in fairy tales but then trust me, it keeps us on our toes and to this aspect comes the powerful conversation. Enjoy!

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In your opinion, who showed greater emotional maturity during the conversation, and what made you feel that way? Was it honest, self-control, empathy, or something else.

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The wife for me showed a greater emotional maturity in this conversation, even though both the husband and wife are clearly hurting, but then, the wife exhibited a stronger sense of self-awareness and control over her emotions, as she is not denying her pain, but also, she is not letting it completely overwhelm her. All She did was express her hurt clearly and directly, without resorting to accusations or blame. Then again, she also expressed her needs in a clear and assertive way, stating that she needs a "partner", and not someone who seeks comfort outside the marriage.

On the other hand, the husband for me is being more reactive and defensive as he dismisses his wife's concerns by saying she is "overthinking" and blaming her for not understanding him, while also being more focused on justifying his actions than taking responsibility for his behavior.

Therefore, the wife's ability to articulate her feelings and needs while remaining calm and composed suggests to me a higher level of emotional maturity. For she, being able to acknowledge the problems in the marriage without letting them consume her, while also showing empathy for her husband's feelings, acknowledging that he "felt lost", but emphasizes that he should have sought her out instead of turning to others.

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Do you believe that emotional cheating can cause as much or even deeper damage than physical cheating? Where do you think the true betrayal begins: in the heart or the body?

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image source; Pexels

Well, this is a question with no easy answer, as both emotional and physical cheating can cause deep hurt and damage to a relationship, however, the way they affect people varies.

Going through the entries, I came to notice how some people argue that emotional cheating is worse because it involves a betrayal of trust on a deeper level. When someone shares intimate feelings, secrets, and vulnerabilities with another person, it creates a bond that can be just as powerful, if not more so, than a physical one. If those feelings are directed towards someone outside the relationship, it can feel like a violation of the core of the relationship, even if no physical intimacy has occurred.

Then also, some say that physical cheating is more damaging because it represents a clear violation of the physical boundaries of the relationship, as the act of physical intimacy is often seen as a symbol of commitment and exclusivity, and when that boundary is crossed, it can feel like a profound betrayal of trust.

But in all, the level of damage caused by either type of cheating depends on factors like the individuals involved, the nature of the relationship, and the context of the betrayal.

However, I tell you that all forms of betrayal begin from the heart, because out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks and the action takes form. Every plan comes from the heart, hence it is about the choices we make, the intentions we hold, and the actions we take, regardless of whether they involve physical contact or not. Therefore, when we prioritize another person's emotional needs over those of our partner, or when we engage in behaviors that undermine the trust and intimacy of our relationship, that's when the true betrayal occurs. In other words, physical cheating itself is birthed from the heart, hence cheating as an act starts from the heart (emotions).

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What are some subtle yet powerful signs that emotional distance is growing between partners? Can you spot these red flags before it’s too late?

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I am no relationship expert, but then from experience, I can say that emotional distance can be a sneaky thief, which slowly erases the foundation of a relationship before we can even realize it is happening, and here are some subtle, but powerful signs that emotional distance might be growing in a relationship:

The "We" Becomes "I":
This means that conversations tend to shift from shared experiences and plans to individual activities and perspectives, leading to a decrease in "we" language and an increase in "I" statements.

The Silence Speaks Volumes:
This one is very common, in fact some call it ghosting now because it is like we get to talk about everything before, but now there are long silences or awkward pauses in conversations. Then, we get to find ourselves struggling to find things to talk about, or we feel like we are talking past each other.

Lost in Translation:
This is when we feel like we are on different wavelengths, and we might find ourselves constantly explaining our thoughts and feelings, or we feel like our partner is not really listening or understanding us.

The Physical Touch Fades:
Like I said, it starts from the heart, and once the heart is not there anymore our hugs, kisses, and other forms of physical affection become less frequent and less meaningful, causing a lack of warmth and connection in physical interactions.

The "Little Things" Matter Less:
Before, we are used to celebrating each other's successes and offer support during tough times. Now, we just find ourselves feeling indifferent or even annoyed by our partner's joys and sorrows.

The "Us" Time Disappears:
Date nights, shared hobbies, and quality time together become less frequent or feel less meaningful, then start to feel like we are living separate lives, even though we are still under the same roof.

The Future Feels Uncertain:
We start questioning the long-term viability of the relationship, leading to avoiding talks about the future, or starts growing a sense of uncertainty about where the relationship is headed.

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Can love truly survive a deep betrayal? What do you really need to rebuild and reconnect with broken trust?

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image source; Pexels

Have you heard of the saying; Love is never Enough. Indeed, love is not enough because betrayal is a brutal blow to any relationship. It is seen as a giant crack in the foundation of the relationship, hence whether love can survive such solely depends on the depth of the crack, the willingness of both partners to repair it, and the strength of the foundation itself.

This is because the crack has brought about a missing piece, which is trust, hence it is not just about getting over the betrayal, but about rebuilding this missing trust, brick by brick, which may take time and involves certain characteristics like;

Honesty and Accountability:
The person who has betrayed (the betrayer) needs to acknowledge what he/she has done and the pain they caused, take full responsibility for their actions, and show genuine remorse for it.

*Transparency and Open Communication:"
Both partners involved will need to be open and honest about how their feelings, needs, and fears and communicate them clearly by actively listening to each other.

Time and Patience:
Healing, no matter the hurt takes time, and there will definitely be ups and downs, so both partners need to be patient with each other and the process.

Commitment to Change:
This requires the one who has broken trust to demonstrate a genuine commitment to change their behavior and rebuild trust they have broken.

Forgiveness (but not forgetting):
The last part of the healing process is for, and this does not mean forgetting what happened or condoning the betrayal, but rather choosing to move forward without holding onto resentment.

Building a New Foundation:
Lastly, the couple needs to rebuild their relationship on a new foundation of trust, respect, and mutual understanding, which may involve setting new boundaries, renegotiating expectations, and establishing new patterns of communication.

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If you were a marriage consultant, What advice would you give to couples in the sheath of heart break and healing?? Speak from wisdom, experience, or even personal pain

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For those who may not feel heartbroken before, heartbreak is like a giant, messy puzzle with a ton of missing pieces. Thus, seeing that both partners are trying to put it back together, I will let them know it is indeed hard because they are both hurting and confused.

Therefore, my first advice will be that they should not rush the healing process, because heart break is like every other wound that needs time to heal too. Hence, we just cannot slap a bandaid on it and expect it to be gone, so they should give themselves time to feel the pain, process it, and talk about it.

Communication is key, and that is why I've advised talking about it. This means, they shouldn't just shut down to themselves but instead talk to each other, even if it's hard, even if it hurts, learn to keep the lines of communication open, as this is where they can rebuild trust and understanding.

Being patient with each other is the next step, because as both couples will be going through an emotional rollercoaster, hence there will be good days and bad days, so be patient with each other's ups and downs and do not expect everything to be "fixed" overnight.

In doing all these, don't forget to remember the good times, i.e., don't let the pain to erase the good memories shared, learn to hold onto those moments, and use them as a reminder of why there was a falling in love in the first place.

Lastly, remember it takes two to make it work. Heartbreak is tough, as much as it shouldn't have to be the end, if both parties can't heal and rebuild the relationship together, I am afraid we've come to the end of this.

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I want to take this opportunity to invite @bossj23, @ruthjoe and @kidi40.

Thank You for your Time

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NOTE: Always have a smile on your face, as you are never fully dressed without one.