Witnessing The Traditions Of Esit Ekit People at My Cousin's Marriage Introduction.

Dear Diary,

I had one of the most unforgettable experiences on Wednesday, November; the day was filled with love, laughter, and lessons of tradition. It was a privilege to attend my cousin's marriage introduction in Esit Eket Local Government Area of Akwa Ibom State.

We traveled as a family to Esit Eket, and upon reaching there, the wife's family was ready and waiting for us. They welcomed us in, oh, the aroma of delicious local dishes welcomed us too, haha, it was wafting through the air. We ate what they offered us. It was a celebration of a new beginning of two who will soon become Man and wife, a celebration of love, unity, and the cultural heritage of the Ekit people.

We arrived at the girl's family by 2 PM, and as the ceremony unfolded, I learned about the customs surrounding marriage in the Esit Ekit region. The first interesting aspect of their custom was the gender roles that are embedded deeply in their traditions. The introduction begins with the formal presentation of the members of the groom's family, from the family head to the last member, and the same goes with the bride's family.

The groom’s family, was led by one of the elders, who brought a wine gift as a sign of respect and seriousness about the marriage to the bride's family. The bride's family asked the groom's family what they were looking for because they welcomed us and gave us food and water, and yet they didn't want to go. The older representative of the groom's family then stated that one of his brothers (Emmanuel) saw a beautiful girl (by the name of Esther) in their family and would love to marry her, And he handed the wine to the bride's representative. It was fascinating to witness how pivotal the family unit is in Ekit culture; I mean, even their village head came out marriage is indeed a union between two families and not two individuals alone.

Before now, the bride's family had given the groom's family the list of items they would need, and my cousin brought the items the previous day, so both representatives moved inside to check out the gifts items. Guess what? The bride's family fined the groom for arriving late and also fined him for checking the gifts items; it's in their culture.

The highlight of this day was witnessing the traditional "dowry negotiation," It's an important part of the introduction. Before the negotiation started, the list of the items that were given to the groom was brought out; this symbolizes their values and expectations. These items ranged from clothing, food items, Goats, and drinks, to more significant gifts for the bride's parent and family. I would rather say it was a delicate balance of culture and negotiation, displaying mutual respect from both families and forming alliances.

After the negotiation, both families came out and continued with the procession, my cousin was brought out for them to see, and then the groom's family demanded to see their wife-to-be, and was given the older lady in the bride's family a fare and wine to brought out the bride who adorned herself very well for her husband.

They wore the same color of the dress, turquoise blue, to reflect their joy, new beginning, and prosperity. My siblings and I wore shorts and shirts vintage materials, while the chiefs of both houses appeared in their chieftaincy attires showcasing the artistry inherent in tradition. We all embraced our cultural identity and thus instilled a sense of pride among all of us.

The groom was overjoyed when he saw his wife, he hugged her, and it was a beautiful sight to behold! The next step was for them to show their mates to their parents; they went with wine to tell their parents that this was the woman/man they intended to marry, and their parents blessed them and advised them to love and respect each other. The groom took his wife to his parent first and then the wife.

This was it! The ceremony ended with prayer, and the background was filled with some traditional songs, and people were dancing, showing the part of both Ekit and Ibibio people's history and our deep connection with one another. I was moving to the rhythm of the music, singing and enjoying the communal spirit, haha. This indicates that tradition does indeed bring people of ages and different backgrounds together.

It was 6:30 in the evening, and the sun began to set, painting the sky with hues of orange, the gathering was a success, blending with joy and anticipation. We were eagerly waiting for the next step of the marriage ceremony - the prelude of the wedding itself. We exchanged pleasantries and bade them farewell; my cousin's father-in-law gave his family a goat and 3 tubers of yam to take back home to those who would be waiting for them. We drove back home. It was a two-hour journey, and I was so tired, so I freshened up immediately Iafter reached and slept.

Attending that marriage introduction was just more than a family event; it was a profound cultural experience for me; I got to learn about the Ekiti people's traditions. I do appreciate their heritage because there's a saying that "every village has a unique chorus of birdsong" It was a profound cultural experience that opened my eyes to the beauty of the Efik traditions. I'm so happy for my cousin, congratulations🥳🎉 to you!
Until next time, bye!