Letter To My President: COM23 1st entry

in #comedyopenmic6 years ago (edited)

Dear Madam President,
It is with great pride, honour, respect and peril as well to my safety and well-being that I write this letter to you. As previously mentioned, they’re coming to get me pretty soon and I write this under duress and most likely may be my final request to any living soul, so I prithee take this as a token of my love and respect for you.
mizf9mjejd.jpg
There’s no easy way to say this but I think I’m in love with you. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I’d love to tell you in person but for now, that’s out of the question at this time due to my very busy schedule. I know in due time we’ll grow on each other if you give love a chance.

I remember the first time I saw you, it was day 1 of the just concluded world cup and my country were going up against yours. One good look at you was enough to make me switch allegiance, as I write this letter to you, I’m officially a Croatian by heart.

Dear “President of my heart”, what do you think about that name? Is it cool? I think it is. I love you more than any math equation can ever prove and saw I thought I’d also warn you about some of the friends you keep.
eq8bispxkl.jpg
I’ve heard stories about someone and how he grabs women, I hope you don’t intend to spend any time in close quarters with a certain gentleman with very tiny hands.
I see you also shook hands with the devil, I hope you washed afterwards.x65zi9p3x1.jpg
Dear President of Sexiness, I saw clips of you kissing someone on TV. I’m very comfortable with you having fun and all but please always remember our relationship in everything you do.The media and know it all internet assholes have been raving about the simplekiss that guy stole on tv.w74y1rt9if.jpg If I wasn’t a Christian I’d have brought serious bodily harm to him but I rose above it. I hear you’re also growing tired of your fat ass husband? Have you heard about the BBC? I’m not talking about the news corporation.
Dear President of Love, I’m signing off now. The men in white are bringing my drugs and won’t let me use the computer for more than 30 minutes. They constantly force these drugs down my throat and prod my body with all these needles; they say its for my own good but I think they’re trying to kill me. I told them all I need is one hug from you, similar to the one you gave the entire stadium on the final day of the tournament. hopefully you'd be dressed slightly different this timeahxdk1yfq7.jpg I was so envious and wanted to kill everyone but you that day, this is how much I love you dear. I hope this message reaches you well.

Yours Affectionately,
Belemovic
ps: Find attached a hardcopy(get it?) of my dick pic and my favorite photos of you in the shower. Tell your husband I’m watching him.

I nominate @samirich and @paulgamsan to participate in COM
Follow this link for Week 23 introduction
please give Comedyopenmic a witness vote to keep this contest running.
w3ak0hxdsp.png

Sort:  

Watch out for those needles they will turn your hard copy into a floppy disc lickedy split.

I always suspected those needles were bad for me

Well any time they say "for your own good" you know it's not really good at all

This was...so bootyful.
Er.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
Beautiful...

It was from the depths of my soft tender loving heart

i am calling on the rest of the Nigerian steem community to follow my lead and flag belemo.

Sheshh, is that really her in the sexywear? I did read that it could be a mis-identification. I wouldn't blame you though for having it hard!

I think there may have been a problem with your editing. I've reloaded the page 112 times now, in anticipation, but I still don't see your dick pic :(
Peace.

Its probably your browser. Download dick pic extension for chrome

When you are wed, will you still be on Steemit?

I've never seen such a romantic love letter before... Love is in the air

Oh my lord, there are actually world leaders who look.... like that?
She has my Steemit vote, I mean YOU have my Steemit vote....

She's the first politician I want to see naked

I would have to agree. Very much agree. Not just on that she is very attractive but there are no other world leaders whom I could see naked and not be scarred for life.