Get To Stepping
To leave or not to leave that is the question. How do you know when it is time to get out?
In the 1990’s Fox Network aired the landmark television show, Martin. Many of the episodes would have Martin getting into a heated discussion with his friends. His friends would invariably disagree with him and tell him he was wrong. It would culminate with Martin, often in a pique of anger, ordering them to leave his apartment. His oft quoted refrain was “get to stepping.”
It was funny to watch as the viewing audience could see it coming. However, his friends could not. They would always miss the warning signs.
Have you ever overstayed your welcome? Often times we can stay in a situation far too long.
I recently participated in a writing exercise. It involved writing about leaving a situation. For some reason, my mind became flooded with music. Good music serves as a soundtrack for life. The G.C. Cameron classic “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday” came to mind. It was later covered by Boys II Men. It is a song about the ending of a friendship. Despite knowing that it is time to move on, there is a reluctance to do so.
Just as we can stay too long, sometimes the opposite can be true. We can leave before a season is complete.
As a child, we moved a lot. It was not uncommon for me to attend as many as 3 or 4 different elementary schools in a calendar year. I had no idea how this impacted me. It made me unstable in my early adult years. As a young man I would change jobs a lot. Looking back I can see some situations that I gave up on too soon.
The 2 most precious resources that God gives us are time and our relationships. We have family relationships, friend relationships and work relationships. An unfruitful, unproductive relationship causes us to waste time. Relationships and time are designed to nurture and enhance each other. It is tragic when one undermines the other. There are some relationships that are for a life time. And there are some relationships that are meant to last only for a season. We get into trouble when we handle lifelong relationships like they are disposable. The same holds true when we try to hold unto those that were only meant for a season. Some people are brought into our lives for a portion of the journey. We are to encourage and strengthen one another along the way.
It is God who orchestrates the seasons of our lives. He determines when a season begins and ends. If we keep Christ as the center of our life He will lead and order or steps. Even if we do blow it and leave a season too soon, His Grace will cover us. If we surrender to His will, He will get us back in step.
To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1
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I love this. The hardest type of letting go i think is that of family members. Being an empath in a family of narcissists was extremely difficult, i desperately tried to help and fix everyone, and could easily forgive no matter how many times they hurt me because i could see they were acting from their own pain which i desperately wanted to fix. Ultimately though this led to me being suicidal by the age of 18. Somewhere deep inside i knew that unless they were willing to heal them selves i would not be able to help them. Unless they were willing to face their dark side that i could be the punch bag for that dark side which was quickly dimming out my light. I walked away from my family, and really started to find my self. Took a while before i made it permanent, but the less time i spent around them the more positive i began to feel and more sure of my self, i finally accepted that i needed to move on, and although at times my heart feels empty, such as on mothers day etc, what i've accomplished over the years i know would not have been possible unless i had the courage to do that. We are conditioned to believe that 'blood' ties us and we must always forgive and stand by our family, i don't believe that. I have let go of the anger and hatred i once felt, as those experiences taught me valuable lessons and shaped who i am today, we are ultimately here to learn lessons and if other people don't learn them that should not hold you back. Extend your hand to help them yes, but don't keep extending it if they keep burning it!
My mother once lamented that although she loved her siblings, she wishes she had moved on sooner. It was a painful lesson for her. I am praying that for you there might be a reconciliation for you and yours. I am glad that this post blessed you.